Today, my coworker told me I should stop smoking cigarettes because it makes my breath "smell like shit" and makes my teeth look as yellow as corn. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my coworker told me that I needed to quit smoking because it was making me look and smell horrible. I've never smoked in my life. FML
Today, I went to the dentist and she told me, "If you don't stop smoking, yellow teeth aren't the only thing you'll have to worry about." I don't even smoke. FML
Today, I went to the dentist. After drilling my teeth for what seemed like hours, he gave me a long speech about how if I continue to smoke, the yellowing of my teeth won't be the only problem. I don't smoke. I never have. FML
Today, my manager took me aside and angrily told me to quit fucking about with our customers. He totally refuses to believe that the slight whistling sound I keep making when I exhale is because I have a chipped tooth. FML
Today, I found out the reason my co-workers have been giving me gum every day is not because of their generosity, but because everyone in the office thinks my breath smells. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette. I don't smoke. She doesn't smoke. My roommate does. FML
Today, I walked past a few of my coworkers sitting outside smoking. As I got a whiff of the smoke, I coughed. They immediately started to defend their habit, and I was told to "mind my own fucking business." I wasn't trying to be rude; I'm actually allergic to cigarette smoke. FML
Today, my future mother-in-law told me she thought I was severely allergic to cigarette smoke. That hasn't stopped her from chain-smoking around me for the last 3 years. FML
Today, my officemate used the telephone beside my desk again. I still can't think of a better way to tell him how awful bad his breath is without the having to do it personally. We've been workmates for a year now and he still hasn't gotten a clue, despite of me covering my nose every time. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
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Top comments
GemmaStyles 14
Maybe you should take that as a sign to start brushing your teeth, hm.
babybebop2 4
That was very rude of him to say your breath smells like shit...but maybe YDI for having poor oral hygiene....too bad a friend could alert you to that nicely.
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Comments (138)
Calyx_fml 22
Maybe you should stop eating shit then.
zombiekitten87 12
Yeah.. That's embarrassing, but you should probably pick up a toothbrush.
zombiekitten87 12
I tried to edit that after I saw op's second post. If your teeth are yellow and your breath is bad and you do brush your teeth, you may have some health problems that are making it that way.
MYpenguinLOVESme 1
Maybe it's time for a dentist appointment...
carminecris89 13
You should tell your coworker to be wary of giving unsolicited advice as one could end up with cement shoes, a broken nose, or any number of other things that are rather unpleasant.
lostfaithinpppl 19
Wow! Your coworker is just rude, OP. Even if you were a smoker it was not her/his place to give you an advice.
KiddNYC1O 22
Well he is half right...
This_FML_Girl 12
Mouthwash and toothbrush it is then! ;-)
torx523 4
That is just nasty. You really need to start brushing your teeth. Maybe 5 times a day should do it.
rygorg 3
I know how that feels. I've brushed my teeth twice a day my whole life and my teeth are very yellow and my breath makes people gag.
skyeyez9 25
Use an extra soft bristled toothbrush too. Brushing too hard and with a medium or firm brush will wear away your tooth enamel, which makes your teeth extra sensitive and causes your gums to recede.