Today, my coworker told me I should stop smoking cigarettes because it makes my breath "smell like shit" and makes my teeth look as yellow as corn. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my coworker told me that I needed to quit smoking because it was making me look and smell horrible. I've never smoked in my life. FML
Today, I went to the dentist and she told me, "If you don't stop smoking, yellow teeth aren't the only thing you'll have to worry about." I don't even smoke. FML
Today, I went to the dentist. After drilling my teeth for what seemed like hours, he gave me a long speech about how if I continue to smoke, the yellowing of my teeth won't be the only problem. I don't smoke. I never have. FML
Today, my manager took me aside and angrily told me to quit fucking about with our customers. He totally refuses to believe that the slight whistling sound I keep making when I exhale is because I have a chipped tooth. FML
Today, I found out the reason my co-workers have been giving me gum every day is not because of their generosity, but because everyone in the office thinks my breath smells. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette. I don't smoke. She doesn't smoke. My roommate does. FML
Today, I walked past a few of my coworkers sitting outside smoking. As I got a whiff of the smoke, I coughed. They immediately started to defend their habit, and I was told to "mind my own fucking business." I wasn't trying to be rude; I'm actually allergic to cigarette smoke. FML
Today, my future mother-in-law told me she thought I was severely allergic to cigarette smoke. That hasn't stopped her from chain-smoking around me for the last 3 years. FML
Today, my officemate used the telephone beside my desk again. I still can't think of a better way to tell him how awful bad his breath is without the having to do it personally. We've been workmates for a year now and he still hasn't gotten a clue, despite of me covering my nose every time. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
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Top comments
GemmaStyles 14
Maybe you should take that as a sign to start brushing your teeth, hm.
babybebop2 4
That was very rude of him to say your breath smells like shit...but maybe YDI for having poor oral hygiene....too bad a friend could alert you to that nicely.
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Comments (138)
Anita1023632 3
Try brushing your teeth often then...
perdix 31
Because of the drought, the price of corn is going to skyrocket. Soon, you may finally have that million-dollar smile!
karencitaa 4
Crest Whitening Strips?
athos1237 4
Try brushing and flossing. Maybe some mouth wash also.
skyeyez9 25
You may have tonsil stones. They are putrid smelling little yellowish pieces of stuff that can be hidden inside the tonsil pits. You have to remove them to make the bad breath go away. If you have those, no amount of brushing and mouth wash will Make the smell disappear.
debbster7 18
Ew, gross! Brush your teeth, nasty! Or at least try whitening them.
PYLrulz 17
I'm voting YDI because that means, if you don't smoke, that you are in dire need of some teeth brushing
redmane 21
Read OP's comment.
PhishloverA 14
Maybe you should brush more
PhishloverA 14
You should brush more, but it's good you've never smoked a cigarette
CanCann 16
Maybe you need to visit the dentist. There may be a problem that simply brushing your teeth won't fix.