Today, my coworker told me I should stop smoking cigarettes because it makes my breath "smell like shit" and makes my teeth look as yellow as corn. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my coworker told me that I needed to quit smoking because it was making me look and smell horrible. I've never smoked in my life. FML
Today, I went to the dentist and she told me, "If you don't stop smoking, yellow teeth aren't the only thing you'll have to worry about." I don't even smoke. FML
Today, I went to the dentist. After drilling my teeth for what seemed like hours, he gave me a long speech about how if I continue to smoke, the yellowing of my teeth won't be the only problem. I don't smoke. I never have. FML
Today, my manager took me aside and angrily told me to quit fucking about with our customers. He totally refuses to believe that the slight whistling sound I keep making when I exhale is because I have a chipped tooth. FML
Today, I found out the reason my co-workers have been giving me gum every day is not because of their generosity, but because everyone in the office thinks my breath smells. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette. I don't smoke. She doesn't smoke. My roommate does. FML
Today, I walked past a few of my coworkers sitting outside smoking. As I got a whiff of the smoke, I coughed. They immediately started to defend their habit, and I was told to "mind my own fucking business." I wasn't trying to be rude; I'm actually allergic to cigarette smoke. FML
Today, my future mother-in-law told me she thought I was severely allergic to cigarette smoke. That hasn't stopped her from chain-smoking around me for the last 3 years. FML
Today, my officemate used the telephone beside my desk again. I still can't think of a better way to tell him how awful bad his breath is without the having to do it personally. We've been workmates for a year now and he still hasn't gotten a clue, despite of me covering my nose every time. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
GemmaStyles 14
Maybe you should take that as a sign to start brushing your teeth, hm.
babybebop2 4
That was very rude of him to say your breath smells like shit...but maybe YDI for having poor oral hygiene....too bad a friend could alert you to that nicely.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (138)
KatlynBrooke 27
Maybe you should start smoking then. So you can use that as an excuse.
hollywoodt1ts 15
Brushing your tongue and gums prevents gingivitis and eliminates bad breath.
arnepalmer11 1
That's almost as bad as when someone calls you pregnant but your just fat
brokenintopieces 5
Well that was just plain rude. Some people need to just be quiet.
ParkBenchWreck 3
Hintity hint hint
MrRondo_fml 20
I feel ya because many people said that to me too as i have yellow teeth as well :(
LissaMccracken 23
Sounds like you've never brushed your teeth either? Well I suggest Crest 3d whitening toothpaste...
Sakshi 13
There's youre hinttt :O.. gooo brushh!
n0ledge 5
Brush your teeth you dirty ape!