Today, my coworker told me I should stop smoking cigarettes because it makes my breath "smell like shit" and makes my teeth look as yellow as corn. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my coworker told me that I needed to quit smoking because it was making me look and smell horrible. I've never smoked in my life. FML
Today, I went to the dentist and she told me, "If you don't stop smoking, yellow teeth aren't the only thing you'll have to worry about." I don't even smoke. FML
Today, I went to the dentist. After drilling my teeth for what seemed like hours, he gave me a long speech about how if I continue to smoke, the yellowing of my teeth won't be the only problem. I don't smoke. I never have. FML
Today, my manager took me aside and angrily told me to quit fucking about with our customers. He totally refuses to believe that the slight whistling sound I keep making when I exhale is because I have a chipped tooth. FML
Today, I found out the reason my co-workers have been giving me gum every day is not because of their generosity, but because everyone in the office thinks my breath smells. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette. I don't smoke. She doesn't smoke. My roommate does. FML
Today, I walked past a few of my coworkers sitting outside smoking. As I got a whiff of the smoke, I coughed. They immediately started to defend their habit, and I was told to "mind my own fucking business." I wasn't trying to be rude; I'm actually allergic to cigarette smoke. FML
Today, my future mother-in-law told me she thought I was severely allergic to cigarette smoke. That hasn't stopped her from chain-smoking around me for the last 3 years. FML
Today, my officemate used the telephone beside my desk again. I still can't think of a better way to tell him how awful bad his breath is without the having to do it personally. We've been workmates for a year now and he still hasn't gotten a clue, despite of me covering my nose every time. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
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Top comments
GemmaStyles 14
Maybe you should take that as a sign to start brushing your teeth, hm.
babybebop2 4
That was very rude of him to say your breath smells like shit...but maybe YDI for having poor oral hygiene....too bad a friend could alert you to that nicely.
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Comments (138)
nikkimae123 1
Maybe you should start brushing your teeth
hermitknut 22
I may be wrong, but I've been told by dentists before that it's not actually natural to have pearly white teeth. That's a false effect that has been popularised to the point that people believe it's 'healthy' and 'normal' (see arguments on fml posts related to removing genital hair, for example). I'm not saying that it's great to have extremely yellow teeth, but naturally your teeth should be off-white. Not movie-star teeth. Perhaps OP's coworker was using the Hollywood standard as her reference point? Or maybe she's just rude. I'd ask a friend that I trust to be honest about the breath thing, just in case. HK
supportcommand 17
Do you drink coffee? Could be the source of the yellow. Maybe you have halitosis. Chew gum when you can't brush right after eating, and through out the day. And then tell your co-worker to go **** off. I doubt he/she is perfect themselves.
hateevryone 15
Maybe you should start brushing your teeth. And use mouthwash.
305Miami 0
Well just tell him that and schedule yourself for a cleaning and buy some gum.
305Miami 0
Well just tell him that and schedule yourself for a cleaning and buy some gum.
sheerem 7
Maybe you should pick up a toothbrush.
xxDefiantxx 0
lay off the soda, tea, coffee etc those stain teeth and you might wanna start brushing
WhyAmUHere 19
Well, there IS a new invention that could assist you. It's called a toothbrush.
supportcommand 17
It says right there that she brushes regularly. If you're not going to read the whole post, why comment? Trigger happy on the send button?
Pridekills 6
THANKYOU. Lol. I honestly posted this FML for my friend at work. I thought it was really ******* mean but funny at the same time. Wanted to know what everyone thought of it. Now I know. Lol
mrnuleef 7
Now you can be in a before and after commercial for crest white strips! Seriously though your mouth sounds awful, do some maintenance and make an appointment.