Today, I was laying out in my backyard trying to get some color when I felt a little tickle on my lips. I rubbed them together to satisfy the itch, when I felt a sort of crunchiness popping between them. I had crushed a spider between my lips and its legs were still moving. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML
Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML
Today, I was eating lunch outside with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
Today, I was walking to the bus in my favorite jeans, and I felt a uncontrollable itch in my leg. I scratched and it went away, but then I felt something moving on my leg. I hadn't worn my jeans in so long that a spider had decided to make it a nest. FML
Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML
Today, I was absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint. When I looked at it, I realized that I had been rolling and squeezing a dead spider in my fingers for about five minutes. FML
Today, it took a whole half hour of scratching my head before I realized with horror that the weird tickling sensation I'd been feeling was actually a spider crawling around in my hair. FML
Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML
Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML
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Top comments
ddldave 0
Wow, I wouln't even know what I would do if that happened to me. I would be scared shitless and freak out until I faint.
snowsurfskate303 0
why the **** are u on this site then?
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Comments (85)
hillbilliebarbie 0
a spider would not taste like steak or anything yummy. yall really overthink simple things that are just gross.
wbrycem 0
Lol
BreeWillis 0
ughhhhh. I am absolutely terrified of spiders. That's gross. FYL indeed.
fyourlife33 0
And then you felt a mist until you realized it was painters pissing on your roof?
glykoula09 0
#51 wins...i remember that fml !!
beast92 2
ahhh! i hate spiders with a passion im sorry
YoungTechnique 0
Damn, I bet that didn't taste very good did it ?
seb12992 0
FYL, that's nasty.
Austine19 0
u gave spidyman a bj lol
TheAmazing_fml 0
AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT U R NO MORE THAN 8 FEET FROM A SPIDER. TRUE FACT.
chasingstarlight 0
I googled it (I'm that cool) and it's actually 6 feet. Bah.
chasingstarlight 0
I WOULD HAVE CRIED.