Today, I was laying out in my backyard trying to get some color when I felt a little tickle on my lips. I rubbed them together to satisfy the itch, when I felt a sort of crunchiness popping between them. I had crushed a spider between my lips and its legs were still moving. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML
Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML
Today, I was eating lunch outside with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
Today, I was walking to the bus in my favorite jeans, and I felt a uncontrollable itch in my leg. I scratched and it went away, but then I felt something moving on my leg. I hadn't worn my jeans in so long that a spider had decided to make it a nest. FML
Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML
Today, I was absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint. When I looked at it, I realized that I had been rolling and squeezing a dead spider in my fingers for about five minutes. FML
Today, it took a whole half hour of scratching my head before I realized with horror that the weird tickling sensation I'd been feeling was actually a spider crawling around in my hair. FML
Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML
Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML
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Top comments
ddldave 0
Wow, I wouln't even know what I would do if that happened to me. I would be scared shitless and freak out until I faint.
snowsurfskate303 0
why the **** are u on this site then?
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Comments (85)
Killer_Instinct8 0
Oooh, you're gonna be like Spiderman now...? That would be so Awesome!
crazyjack 0
#15 FYL for saying gullible
dietSYNTHpop 0
So, did you spit or swallow after that?
4dakill 0
Today, I was laying out in my backyard NAKED trying to get some color, when I felt a little tickle on my ****** lips. I rubbed MY ****** together to satisfy the itch, when I felt a sort of crunchish popping between MY ****** LIPS. I had crushed a spider between my VAGINAL LIPS and its legs were still moving. FML
kissesinbetween 0
wtf is wrong with u?
Armin_fml 0
right.
Leaveittosteven 0
Whoa, bugs in the outdoors on the ground? That's weird, really weird. Who would have thought?
datashade 0
Yeah, I have to go YDI ... humanity builds houses with walls and ceilings and windows and stuff to keep the bugs on one side. Although if you start rubbing or touching parts of yourself together every time something touches your lips, I bet you were a lot of fun in college.
awesomeperson 0
awwww the poor spidey! and YDI spider killer
shaPOW 0
that sucks, but i'm not clicking YLIF. if you choose to lie outside, you have to expect that bugs will crawl on you. bonus points for the gross description though.
PandaChronicler 0
I have a terrible terrible case of arachnophobia, i go paralyzed by the site of spiders and i usually cry XD pretty pathetic but fears are illogical and uncontrollable, needless to say, Kudos on not dying. I wouldn't be able to move for like....a year XDD
drlemmon 2
which lips are we talking about?