Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me a two week notice for our relationship. FML
Today, my girlfriend of a year and I had sex for the first time in several weeks due to relationship problems; I came in less than 10 seconds. We're still having problems. FML
Today, my friend told me how depressing it is that she hasn't had sex in two weeks. I haven't had sex in 3 years. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she’s been wanting to have sex lately. We haven’t done it in so long, I've lost track. We still haven’t done it. Part of me wants to fuck someone else. FML
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
Today, marks the second week straight without sex. Being a newlywed isn't as great as I thought. FML
Today, my girlfriend raged furiously at me for never initiating sex. The reason I haven't been initiating is because she was on a medically-ordered sex ban, and she "forgot to tell me" that her doctor had cleared her two weeks ago. She's still mad at me, and there's still no sex. FML
Today, the previously charming guy I've been seeing for the past two weeks tried to introduce a weekly sex quota into our relationship. FML
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Top comments
abbyade 21
It is time to re-evaluate your relationship. You guys should have a good chat and make a decision if this relationship is salvageable or not.
DaRito 25
You should talk it out with your girlfriend, it doesn't seem like the relationship would last long from that point.
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Comments (92)
emelikardashian 5
bro I feel you hahaha (boyfriend)
gunnerblaster 21
I'm not saying that sex is all that matters, in a relationship, but it is a vital way of really connecting with your partner. If she's cutting you off, I'd take a moment to evaluate your relationship.
Joshawott 21
...what? Are you sure that those dates weren't y'know, appointments with a very popular prostitute?
joshi42 16
She couldn't find a free slot for you?
zarrganaut 17
That's definitely not healthy.
Mysterious_one 26
Must be one full scheduled puss...
drrobotnik1 18
is her name roxanne?
pyrexicpoet 18
Wonder who else she has booked for those two weeks lol
Jiratias 36
"Make an appointment to have sex". That does not look like a healthy viable relationship, you should have a serious talk with your girlfriend.
sylverdrag_fml 9
Time to consider an alternate primary care provider.