Today, I was messing around in my boyfriend's pants while watching TV. He was totally absorbed in the fishing show that was on. When the guy lost a fish, he got so disappointed that he became completely flaccid. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were hooking up while watching a movie. Just as I was getting really into it, he told me to move my head. He couldn't see the television. FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I slightly opened my eyes during it and saw him with his eyes wide open, watching TV. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jacking it. He wouldn't continue and let me watch. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house. Expecting to get a little action, I was surprised to find that he had fallen asleep while I was showering. I spent my night watching television and browsing the internet while he snored. Loudly. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend in the bathtub interrogating his penis and "drowning" it when it wouldn't answer him. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, I was trying to be sexy and rub my boyfriend's un-aroused package while we were watching a movie. I couldn't find it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
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Top comments
theFMLiest1ofThe 0
do fish turn him on because they remind him of you? or part of you?
TheLetterZero 7
Guess you could say he was... *sunglasses* hooked on that program. YEEEAAAHHH!
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Comments (107)
imhowie 2
First!
TheLetterZero 7
Modded!
c8750 2
Wow, what a loser
ClickMyPicture 0
It's funny cause the fish turns him on and not you ;)
CrazyDutch 0
your gay
Illblowyourmind 3
I have a feeling he likes "'fishsticks'" ;)
katplayer 4
Well, he can't be that much of a loser if he's got a girl's hands down his pants...
bioboy725 10
haha 66 maybe he's a gay fish?
Notimetobleed 14
#66 is defiantly loosy goosy :(
Illblowyourmind 3
#76 I think so xD
Illblowyourmind 3
where'd did get that idea?!
TwoInTheBush 0
87 your really sexy xD
theFMLiest1ofThe 0
do fish turn him on because they remind him of you? or part of you?
xcubbiebearx 0
that was just rude.
sourgirl101 29
That was just rude saying "that was just rude" "Snapper" are hot!(:
clothesoptional 0
You are hilarious Jersey! Awesome I <3 you
TheLetterZero 7
Guess you could say he was... *sunglasses* hooked on that program. YEEEAAAHHH!
MexRomeo 0
*sunglasses* YYEEAAHH
DynamicDave 11
This guy wins! Haha
premiermois 5
#5 I love you
maccamcrbja 5
LMAO WIN #5!!! 8D
OnlyAvailableID 28
theFMLiest1ofThe 0
he was more interested in a fish on a pole, than he was in pole-ing your fish, I guess.
c8750 2
Maybe he wants to get poled Lol
Fa7_fml 0
Why do you comment so many bad puns?
memo619 0
I guess trial and error doesn't work for everyone
movie141 0
he might have been getting ideas ;p
BadKitty13 28
Sounds fishy to me.......
UrNotFunny 0
Why..?
dubstep87 0
this is a boring fml
Nandito2 0
Cuz guys don't get soft wen something bad happens, I'm pretty sure it doesn't affect the blood flow in his **** if he gets sad...
daymann 0
but I'm pretty sure adrenaline that you could get from being really into the show could cause your penis to tighten up and retrace because it's a natural reaction when your fighting or exerting yourself physically in an unsexual way so your penis doesn't get ripped off or some shit
Terezi 0
I guess he just had bigger fish to fry at the time.
ulicksam 0
YDI if you can't distract him from tv, not matter what show is on.
TheBeastmaster 0
what excellent use of the word flaccid. why does it always have to be saved for limp penises though...
BloodyHeel 8
Cos that is the most correct way to describe your penis.
Terezi 0
Inb4 everyone suggests you just dump him.