Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "My mom is SO awesome." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML
Today, my boyfriend laid his head on my bare chest and said, "You're like my mother." FML
Today, I was in the shower and I heard my boyfriend walk in. I struck my sexiest pose and when he came in, he looked me up and down and told me, "You look like my mother." Thanks. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had great sex and afterward decided to take a shower together. He left the room to get some towels, so I went to the bathroom and wait. I walked out of his room wearing nothing but a thong and ran into his mom who had come home from work early. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was fingering me. After he left, my mum says to me "I wish my sex life was as interesting as yours." She had walked in and we hadn't even noticed. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, I was laying in bed with my boyfriend. He started caressing me, his eyes were closed, and he said, “I love touching your boobs.” Which was actually a roll of fat on my stomach. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me in a very natural way that my mother is better at sex than me. FML
Today, I slept over at my boyfriend's house and he offered to give me a massage, as he'd found a book on sensual massage and wanted to test it out on me. When he went to the bathroom, I found the book open on his desk- at "Massage to eliminate cellulite". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML
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Top comments
Mysanitywins 10
Mom-1 GF-0
rockhound 0
Well, his mom IS awesome.
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Comments (124)
thelumberjack 0
haha his mom is better than your **** lmao
Judus_beej 0
next time you give him a ******** say "my dad is awesome." he'll either look at you strange or get turned on. if he gets turned on leave him. incest is only for hillbillys and royalty.
RedPillSucks 33
What if he's royalty? Should she leave him then?
Quest_ 13
You can't eliminate the possibility that this FML was submitted by Kate Middleton. ...Actually, the more I think about it, the more it makes sense.
bellsands17 0
what's the matter with hillbilly's?!
Judus_beej 0
why is Halloween a hillbillys favorite holiday? they get to pump kin. does that answer your question?
irokyoursox 6
let's just treat everyone like m and ms
guci101 14
Hahahahaha
Cass3m0 0
Mama's boy, eh? I see how it is. Awesome mother (>) Topless GF.
mazzera_fml 7
your dad is better
xStiina 0
hahaha. spoiled moment..
soiheardyoufaile 4
or a possibility to start a debate over who's mum is more awesome, it depends how you look at the situation :p
rndg 0
For some reason when I read this, I thought his mom was his gf. Odd
RedPillSucks 33
well..... There is detail missing. The FML as stated doesn't preclude the boyfriend also being the son. Curse you for making me think this through.
GreatBodoh 1
I don't get it :/ can someone explain to this stupid guy? ><
DocBastard 40
Sure. OP was walking down the street minding her own business when a guy wearing a sombrero and smelling of boiled cabbage came up behind her, smacked her ass, gave her a doughnut ands yelled "Scoodleedoo!" Reread it with this in mind. It'll all make sense.
aiden2976 0
I understand now.
luna4545 4
lmao ^^ win
Brandi_Faith 34
Doc you're on a roll today!! First the fish puns and now this!! Beautiful!!
3kitten3 10
Oh my....
pickleguy 0
I'm sure you ARE awesome...
RBW5 2
do u resemble his mom topless? that would be my bigger concern.