Today, I'm forced to eat half a package of saltine crackers in my room for dinner. I can't go downstairs to the kitchen because my two roommates are going at it on our kitchen table. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my roommates decided to do some experimental baking. To be supportive, I tried one of their creations. I've been alternating between vomiting and diarrhea for the past hour. My jaw is sore from vomiting, and I can barely muster the energy to flush between "switching sides" anymore. FML
Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML
Today, I ate dinner sitting on the floor. My petty roommate got pissed off during the weekend and decided the appropriate action would be to lock all the furniture in her room and refuse to give it back. FML
Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML
Today, for the third time in less than a week, my dumbass roommate has a bunch of friends over. None of them are wearing masks and I don't feel comfortable leaving my room. I'm fucking starving and can't go to the kitchen to get food. The idiot is a fucking nursing major. FML
Today, I wake up only to find that my roommates cooked all my food. Now I'm starving and the place smells like delicious bacon. FML
Today, I realized how stagnant my life has become when, while eating some leftover salad with crackers I'd left out the night before, I decided to open some new crackers and put them with the stale, and giggled to myself about the excitement of "cracker roulette." FML
Today, I got out of my bed and immediately stepped into a half-eaten bowl of cereal. FML
Today, I had a stomach virus, so I didn't eat anything. My new roommate asked me if I was anorexic so to prove I wasn't, I ate a sandwich in front of her. Only to go into the bathroom and throw it up later. She heard and now thinks I'm bulimic. FML
Today, my mom tried to ground me. In the apartment that I own. Because I didn't eat enough of the dinner that I'd made. FML
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Top comments
Pentium_4 27
ahhh of course. i'll bet their goal is to do it in every room in the house, so eventually they're going to do it in your bed while you're gone!
yahoowizard 16
Order pizza, get the camera ready, then wait for the delivery guy to get there. And then profit.
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Comments (157)
MwahFMLS 6
O_______O
ManicGypsy 22
Pics or it didn't happen. LOL. But seriously, I would have just walked in there and started cooking dinner, and maybe sat down at the table to eat when dinner was done, just to see if they would keep going or stop.
mileena 7
Go make dinner. And remember to be nice and offer them some too. Don't be surprised if there's no answer.
thamack408 11
haha she might hear a yes ;)
TheHardwick3 7
Sit down and ask them to pass the salt. It's funny as hell
d00z3r 8
UFIA?
AyumiEmdez 4
That's rude. Go down there anyway or shout in the hallway "Finished yet? I'm hungry." Guarantee it'll ruin the mood and they'll stop.
immaMonsta 8
#55 That's something I would do lol.
jafreen 8
grab d popcorn!
OfficeNinja 5
Just go down and reclaim the kitchen table for eating FOOD on. Nothing else, just food. Or be a good capitalist and put up a live feed web cam - then charge to watch. You might make enough to get a place on your own! It all depends on the frequency of their antics.
thamack408 11
hahaha dood might be eating ;) if you catch my drift XD
loserman67 36
Go down to the kitchen! You have just as much right to be there as they do! Make your food, look at them and say very loudly, "When you two are done ******* around, I'd like to eat my dinner." Or to really break them up say to the guy, "Hey, last time you did me you didn't put that much energy into it, what the ****?" That'll make some room on the table for sure!