Today, I volunteered to be my brother's designated driver. I told him throughout the night that I wasn't drinking, but he ended up leaving me at the bar and going to his friend's house in a cab for more drinks, taking my keys along with him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my brother was going to get some drinks for a party we were going to. After getting the drinks, he ended up leaving me at home while he went and got drunk like never before. FML
Today, my brother's friend was about to drive home drunk, so I convinced him to think and not be stupid. It wasn't an invitation to puke on my floor then try to crawl into bed with me. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends. Being safe as we were a little intoxicated, we took a taxi back. The cab driver was also drunk. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy who turned out to be my older brother's friend. In the middle of the night we were drunk and got stuck in my room after the key broke inside the lock. My brother had to help my date climb out of the window. FML
Today, I learned that when I got my driver's permit, I agreed to be the designated driver for my family. FML
Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML
Today, my boyfriend didn't come home from a night of drinking with the boys again, so I told him that I was packing my things and I wouldn't be here when he came home. After all my things were packed, I realized he drove my car to the bar. FML
Today, I was the designated driver for my friend's 21st birthday. On the way home from the bar, he threw up all the pasta and tequila he'd had onto the back seat of my car, and told me it was part of his whole party plan. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. It was also my birthday party. FML
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Top comments
bigdog57_fml 9
Why did he have the keys if you were the DD?
yoursucklives 36
should have taken the keys before letting your brother get drunk and have bad ideas.
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Comments (64)
deransc 19
Worst DD ever. How the hell did he have the keys in the 1st place, and you were suppossed to be making sure he stayed out of trouble in the 2nd place. How could you guys not say he deserved it?
doglover100 29
Always keep your keys with you.