Today, I volunteered to be my brother's designated driver. I told him throughout the night that I wasn't drinking, but he ended up leaving me at the bar and going to his friend's house in a cab for more drinks, taking my keys along with him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my brother was going to get some drinks for a party we were going to. After getting the drinks, he ended up leaving me at home while he went and got drunk like never before. FML
Today, my brother's friend was about to drive home drunk, so I convinced him to think and not be stupid. It wasn't an invitation to puke on my floor then try to crawl into bed with me. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends. Being safe as we were a little intoxicated, we took a taxi back. The cab driver was also drunk. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy who turned out to be my older brother's friend. In the middle of the night we were drunk and got stuck in my room after the key broke inside the lock. My brother had to help my date climb out of the window. FML
Today, I learned that when I got my driver's permit, I agreed to be the designated driver for my family. FML
Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML
Today, my boyfriend didn't come home from a night of drinking with the boys again, so I told him that I was packing my things and I wouldn't be here when he came home. After all my things were packed, I realized he drove my car to the bar. FML
Today, I was the designated driver for my friend's 21st birthday. On the way home from the bar, he threw up all the pasta and tequila he'd had onto the back seat of my car, and told me it was part of his whole party plan. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. It was also my birthday party. FML
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Top comments
bigdog57_fml 9
Why did he have the keys if you were the DD?
yoursucklives 36
should have taken the keys before letting your brother get drunk and have bad ideas.
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Comments (64)
Sora_McKain 36
Follow him, get your keys back, go home, forget about it.
ebud2010 2
Why would you give him YOUR keys?!?
Jayrs93 11
Yes because OP said that they gave him their keys lol
69Anonymous_69 0
Why the hell did you give a guy thats gunna be drunk the keys to your car when you are gunna be sober??? hes a guy hes gunna wanna drive no matter what!!
jlperry31 10
If ur the dd why would he have ur keys. That doesn't make sense
Jayrs93 11
He probably stole them...
wellthatsukx 0
You deserve it. What kind of crappy designated driver surrenders the keys to someone that's drinking?? It's your own fault.
NMSO851 3
Ydi for giving him ur keys
Mielai 3
What you get for giving a drunk person your keys, YDI
lifeisgood0812 0
First of all if you are the DD, then why does your drunken brother have the keys ?!?!
Skylansmile 11
Why were the keys on him to begin with if you were the driver?
Neatfellen 0
why in the hell did u let ur drunk brother have the keys in the first place? isnt it ur job as the dd to keep car keys away from anyone drinking? u deserved it