Today, I was the designated driver for my friend's 21st birthday. On the way home from the bar, he threw up all the pasta and tequila he'd had onto the back seat of my car, and told me it was part of his whole party plan. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my 21st birthday. All my friends showed up at my house already drunk, so I had to be the designated driver. FML
Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML
Today, is my 21st birthday. My friends took me to a bar to celebrate, knowing I don't drink. I'm now in charge of driving my friends home after they've had an awesome night. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. It was also my birthday party. FML
Today, I picked up my 3 friends from a party. One of them drank too much and claimed she needed to throw up. I pulled over multiple times so she could. It didn't happen until we were right in front of her house and still inside my car. FML
Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML
Today, I was designated driver for my friends. This entailed standing around in the cold for 3 hours, not drinking, dealing with drunk people, and oh yeah, I almost forgot, cleaning up vomit from my hair, my clothes, and my new car. FML
Today, I took my best friend to an '80s party. She drank too much and ended up puking all over the interior and exterior of my car, as well as inside my right legwarmer on the 30 mile trip back home. FML
Today, I volunteered to be my brother's designated driver. I told him throughout the night that I wasn't drinking, but he ended up leaving me at the bar and going to his friend's house in a cab for more drinks, taking my keys along with him. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
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Top comments
FYLDeep 26
Kick his drunk ass out. Tell him that your plan was for him to be raped by a homeless man.
krushr 3
Nice friend. Time for revenge?
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Comments (77)
krushr 3
Nice friend. Time for revenge?
Mylifeskool 0
damn straight.
biass 0
Unlike the other people here, I'm aginst senseless violence. So please be sensible when you beat the crap out of him.
krushr 3
Who said anything about violence? Revenge can take many forms. I prefer a good mindfuck myself.
biass 0
Mental abuse is still abuse. Violence is not only physical. Also, Lots of people said something about violence. Scroll down.
krushr 3
Oh, I get it. I assumed you were replying specifically to my post. You know, since you replied to my post.
biass 0
Lol, no. But I get it now. I love unintentional jokes.
KiddNYC1O 22
Tell him that your plan was to instead of punching him in the arm x amount of times for his birthday, you're going to hit him x amount of times with your bat.
ChubbyCake 5
This sounds like last night to me. My friend was sitting in the front seat and he threw up but out the window while we were driving. My friends that were in the back left their window down. When we got home they were cover in vomit. Thank god I was driving lol.
StoryOfTheYear 15
hardcore FML here xD
MissErikaHart 0
54, ur profile is, interesting...
trueblue42 4
LAWL
nikkidancer321 0
that kinda funny
chimpsndip 0
I like that rock you're sitting on.
FYLDeep 26
Kick his drunk ass out. Tell him that your plan was for him to be raped by a homeless man.
nikkidancer321 0
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha that's amazing!
andrewgrimm 0
someone needs anger management
xgetxbentx 13
41 - and you need a sense of humor :)
underaegis 0
to 68) 18 my ass (refering to age of 68'th poster)
Mister_Grinch 0
Ewwww.
Michael216 0
Wow dude... fyl for sure. whoop his ass lol
twinny_sc 13
Should have put his drunk ass on the roof of a Vegas hotel and forgot about him.
skatingalyy 0
the hangover! :D
pancake_mixx 9
ftw. <3
imright24 0
Sober you watched him eat all that pasta then drink all that tequila and you still let him in your car. You didn't think a 21-year-old was going to yack after that? YDI.
bigbadtim 7
Good idea.
Autoshot 9
With any luck you'll get him covered in his own puke.
breNdan_swaGger 0
two of the best comments on this fml ^
TheKingOfHyrule 0
where did i hear this before?
perdix 31
The second paragraph is my boiler-plate revenge scheme for when one dude screws another.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
This is why you only agree to DD on the condition that you use one of the drunken revelers' car.
bigbadtim 7
Take a shit in his car.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
This is why you only agree to DD on the condition that you use one of the drunken revelers' car.