Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I'm so sexually deprived that I got a raging hard-on from seeing and hearing my coworker yawn. FML
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Today, I took advantage of the fact that my wife was sleeping to watch porn on my computer. I put headphones on so that she wouldn't hear, but It wasn't until she came out of the bedroom that I realised I hadn't plugged them in properly. FML
Today, I realized how sex-deprived I am when the thought of owning condoms gave me a rock-solid erection. FML
Today, I sat in the bathroom on my phone to rub one out after a long day. Wanting to hear the action, I upped the volume until the sound was low enough for me to hear, despite the volume being near max. I continued until I realized my phone was connected to my headset outside near my family. FML
Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML
Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML
Today, I was woken up by the sound of my dad blasting porn on his computer. FML
Today, I realized I masturbate too much when I got turned on by the smell of my shampoo. FML
Today, I'm so deprived of female attention that I got a hard-on when a nurse told me I have beautiful veins. FML
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Top comments
kings1fan 6
Imagine how she feels when she fills her gas tank up!
rattusrattus 19
Tip from your Auntie* Rattie - buy a vibrator and some lube. You can get them online if you feel embarressed going into a shop. *Auntie being metaphorical in this case, not indicative of actual relation.
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Comments (122)
Jonnnny_fml 6
Lol
qtip2245 0
I too do the same :(
bubo_fml 11
When you finally have sex, I hope you don't end up saying, "Oh well...Ho hum...Kinda reminds me of the last time I plugged my headphones into my computer..."
CSTDude77 7
Um, get help?
mouxouxou 11
With a proper toy and the wild imagination of yours,get ready to visit Narnia. :P
SoultheWolf 19
Only one thing I can say... a vibrator or *****.
yeeaahh55 7
lol that sucks
perdix 31
Did you shove it in all the way at once, or did you put it about halfway in, diddle it around then pull it back out? Then did you put the jack just a little bit in and take it out, put it in a bit deeper and pull it out, until you stick it so deep in the hole, you can't push it in any deeper? Excuse me, I need a minute . . .
OHai15 12
i see what you did there >.>
jlynntiger 0
Ur dumb
rebelliousshroom 12
Lol! I feel for you. I'm losing my sleep over the same thing. But at least try to see the humour in this incident...
Katherine1May 0
Get a vibrator, it's worthing....trust me ;)
Katherine1May 0
Worth it