Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm so sexually deprived that I got a raging hard-on from seeing and hearing my coworker yawn. FML
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Today, I took advantage of the fact that my wife was sleeping to watch porn on my computer. I put headphones on so that she wouldn't hear, but It wasn't until she came out of the bedroom that I realised I hadn't plugged them in properly. FML
Today, I realized how sex-deprived I am when the thought of owning condoms gave me a rock-solid erection. FML
Today, I sat in the bathroom on my phone to rub one out after a long day. Wanting to hear the action, I upped the volume until the sound was low enough for me to hear, despite the volume being near max. I continued until I realized my phone was connected to my headset outside near my family. FML
Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML
Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML
Today, I was woken up by the sound of my dad blasting porn on his computer. FML
Today, I realized I masturbate too much when I got turned on by the smell of my shampoo. FML
Today, I'm so deprived of female attention that I got a hard-on when a nurse told me I have beautiful veins. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
kings1fan 6
Imagine how she feels when she fills her gas tank up!
rattusrattus 19
Tip from your Auntie* Rattie - buy a vibrator and some lube. You can get them online if you feel embarressed going into a shop. *Auntie being metaphorical in this case, not indicative of actual relation.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (122)
desireev 18
35- If that's the case, then that is slightly disturbing... Considering she's only 13. But I guess that a 15-year-old is young enough to think that.
Clamcreepy 7
You need to get to a bar or something and try to find a guy to plug something else in you
geod69 8
Forever alone
FMLsOhilarious 6
Maybe you should **********.
CryMoreFMLs 15
42 - I could've swore there was supposed to be an age limit for FML.... 13 is a bit young for some of the comments here. (Like that age limit ever stopped anybody anyway)
laden_swallow09 35
If you're under 18, OP, it's just your horny-mones testing out and getting used to your body's new equipment. it's natural and everybody experiences it. If you're older, vibrators and lubricant exist for a reason… or just use your own hands. If you can't pleasure yourself, then no one else will be able to. It's not dirty, and it's not taboo ('least not anymore, anyway). That's plan B, of course. Plan A is prowling bars and clubs… AND ALWAYS BRING PROTECTION!
RubenTheGreek 8
Buy Vibrator Apply tip to ****** Congratulations,your problem has been solved. Make sure to buy batteries as well.
beanterboss1 0
Wow that's ******* sad u pussy. Alright send your hate mail here motherfuckers
linkinpark98 24
Oh yeah! Shove that plug in harder!
darkforce146 5
I'm sure there is a fetish for that.
Epikouros 32
It's not on Fetlife yet, at least I think 'plug' means something else there. You can be the first to add it :)
Ray_of_midnight 23
Theory of Quantum Fetish Mechanics: by wondering if a fetish exists, you cause it to pop into existence.