Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I'm so sexually deprived that I got a raging hard-on from seeing and hearing my coworker yawn. FML
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Today, I took advantage of the fact that my wife was sleeping to watch porn on my computer. I put headphones on so that she wouldn't hear, but It wasn't until she came out of the bedroom that I realised I hadn't plugged them in properly. FML
Today, I realized how sex-deprived I am when the thought of owning condoms gave me a rock-solid erection. FML
Today, I sat in the bathroom on my phone to rub one out after a long day. Wanting to hear the action, I upped the volume until the sound was low enough for me to hear, despite the volume being near max. I continued until I realized my phone was connected to my headset outside near my family. FML
Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML
Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML
Today, I was woken up by the sound of my dad blasting porn on his computer. FML
Today, I realized I masturbate too much when I got turned on by the smell of my shampoo. FML
Today, I'm so deprived of female attention that I got a hard-on when a nurse told me I have beautiful veins. FML
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Top comments
kings1fan 6
Imagine how she feels when she fills her gas tank up!
rattusrattus 19
Tip from your Auntie* Rattie - buy a vibrator and some lube. You can get them online if you feel embarressed going into a shop. *Auntie being metaphorical in this case, not indicative of actual relation.
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Comments (122)
Ozuru 11
Get a vibrator or a man.
annoytanor 1
Send me a picture and I'll see If I'm free or not ;P
gracehi 33
I really don't think that's from being sexually deprived...
Justin23L 2
I do.
fthislyfe 22
Now kiss
gracehi 33
Hey, all I'm saying is that I too have endured long periods of sexual deprivation, and I have never once been turned on by an electronic device. I think there's probably something else going on in OP's head.
RedPillSucks 33
from sexually deprived to sexually depraved!
Sumo69 9
Sounds perfectly normal to me just don't get electrocuted doing some dumb
HerpYourDerp 7
Idonebeenhad 17
Herp?
HeartOfLead 24
I bet she purrs back.
Dustin_Pedobear 9
I see here that ItsKaylaBitch just got that one thumbs up from some dude who thought she was hot rather than posting something worth reading.
rubberduckie94 13
Op did not mention they are plugging the head phones in so nobody hears the **** they are watching.
ohreallynow1992 3
That's exactly what I was thinking!
twisted_cherub 14
I once went celibate (yes, on purpose) for 3.5 years--no physical contact with the opposite sex at all. I got turned on by every phallic shaped object (bananas, ice cream scoop handle, hot dogs, gear shift,....), anything that had to be inserted into anything else (phone charger, keys, fuel hose,....), and every slightly manly scent I caught wind of. I actually stopped a guy in the driver's area at a truck stop to get closer & tell him how great he smelled. He'd just showered. Irish Spring is the best smell in the world & I almost nibbled his neck, I was so lost in it. So, OP, you're not that strange. At least you aren't prepared to rape innocent truckers yet.
Pinkfl0yd 9
No trucker is innocent.
KMtheDrummer 6
Huh. Why'd ya go celibate?
br0ccoli 15
I love men that smell good. I always go "mmmm yummy" in my head and close my eyes to smell them more.
bubo_fml 11
Shit...I'm gonna get me some Irish Spring..."Clean as a whistle!"
santel_fml 8
Buy a vibrator
cornielious 1
I dont think sexual deprivation is the issue here...