Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm so sexually deprived that I got a raging hard-on from seeing and hearing my coworker yawn. FML
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Today, I took advantage of the fact that my wife was sleeping to watch porn on my computer. I put headphones on so that she wouldn't hear, but It wasn't until she came out of the bedroom that I realised I hadn't plugged them in properly. FML
Today, I realized how sex-deprived I am when the thought of owning condoms gave me a rock-solid erection. FML
Today, I sat in the bathroom on my phone to rub one out after a long day. Wanting to hear the action, I upped the volume until the sound was low enough for me to hear, despite the volume being near max. I continued until I realized my phone was connected to my headset outside near my family. FML
Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML
Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML
Today, I was woken up by the sound of my dad blasting porn on his computer. FML
Today, I realized I masturbate too much when I got turned on by the smell of my shampoo. FML
Today, I'm so deprived of female attention that I got a hard-on when a nurse told me I have beautiful veins. FML
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Top comments
kings1fan 6
Imagine how she feels when she fills her gas tank up!
rattusrattus 19
Tip from your Auntie* Rattie - buy a vibrator and some lube. You can get them online if you feel embarressed going into a shop. *Auntie being metaphorical in this case, not indicative of actual relation.
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Comments (122)
ZippandButtons 7
I'd really like to know what a car is doing in the kitchen. Using the engine to make smoothies, maybe?
ronski 41
New take on cyber sex
Rasetsu 10
That is insanely weird. Ever heard of a vibrator?
irishboy352 0
Dafuq is dis?
BlAzEtHiS 0
You are just a pathetic excuse of a human being that plugging in your headphones gets you aroused. You wouldn't know where to begin with an actual partner. Also, I'm a virgin.
savagee133 13
Doesn't everyone get turned on by this? oh guess not..
dremano1 1
i live in texas sup girl
worldclassrager 41
If you are looking to get laid try tinder
TheMystery13 13
Drop me a line, we'll take care of this little problem.
adsaghffgh 4
Oh my god what did I just read!!?
worldclassrager 41
Masturbation is healthy thing to do...and you have many options being female...