Today, I babysat a 4-year-old child for my neighbor. It seems he had diarrhea. The evidence of this is in his pants, down his leg, on the couch, on the bathroom floor, smeared on my wall, and in the shape of a brown handprint on my shirt. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML
Today, at work, I came back from my break to find a child covered in mud. Turns out it wasn't mud. One of the other children had taken all of the poop out of their diaper and smeared it all over the floor, walls, and other children. The other teacher hadn't noticed, and I had to clean it all up. FML
Today, I was babysitting my friend's two year-old daughter. Within 15 minutes, she had crawled out of her crib, taken off her diaper, and smooshed her poop in between the cracks in the floor. I put her in the tub, left to get a towel, and came back to her pooping in the tub. FML
Today, I was babysitting my 5 month-old nephew, who hasn't pooped in two days according to his mom. Well, he pooped. I accidentally stuck my finger in it. While I was wiping my finger off, he rolled over and peed on my new carpet. I rolled him over to clean the pee and he opened fire and pooped again. FML
Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML
Today, I was babysitting. The kid said he had to use the bathroom. When I told him to go ahead, he said he just did. He was on my lap. He wasn't wearing pants. FML
Today, while the kid I was babysitting was in the bathroom, he called to me "I need some help in here." Worried I ran to the bathroom and asked him what was wrong. He needed me to wipe his butt. As if that weren't gross enough, just as my hand was under his butt, he pooped again and laughed. FML
Today, one of the kids at the daycare center I work at was so excited at the fact that his constipation was over, he felt the need to bring me his fecal matter, in his hands, to show me. Guess who had to clean up the aftermath. FML
Today, I discovered that my 8-year old is not fully toilet trained when a turd fell out of his pants, shortly after introducing him to his new babysitter. FML
Today, I babysat my niece and thought a quick shower would be fine. I left her watching cartoons with a blanket and returned to find she’d used washable paints on the carpet and her hands, leaving tiny colorful footprints to the couch. Her proud smile made me forgive the mess, but I spent the evening scrubbing. FML
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Top comments
Gixie 25
Sounds like a shitty time.
herpaderpaherp 17
Looks like he found a new form of finger painting
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Comments (90)
Gixie 25
Sounds like a shitty time.
jojimugo 20
More like a shitty job
chowE_fml 4
Shitty situation. toss that kid out
bluehero 17
He's just a 4 year old, no need to toss the kid out out lol it's not his fault.
7yzzFML 17
Reminds me of that movie 'Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd' when Bob Saget comes into the bathroom "Theres Shit EVERYWHERE!!"
LeFrogDog 27
reminds me of the movie daddy day care
LeFrogDog 27
nooo I was to late #6 beat me. you win this time ~_~
Jelbeztok 17
Even at 4 you should know not to smear shit on the wall.
LightningCactus 12
Sounds more like an all-around shitty time.
GuessWhatKids 13
OP better have been paid a shit ton.
adam3650 12
Sounds like a real dire rear situation...
herpaderpaherp 17
Looks like he found a new form of finger painting
LeFrogDog 27
think op would be glade when he uses washable markers and crayons
iAlissa 34
**** Crayola, lets use Crapola.
Marmarfarfar 25
Gotta love kids...
ApollosMyth 22
No.. No you do not.
LeFrogDog 27
maybe just a little?
CaptMurdock 25
You're gonna have a crappy time cleaning all that up.
Thisfreakingguy 10
It doesn't sound like your a very good baby sitter...
KingDead 18
Lol, maybe not just that, but the fact OP seems to not have realized this going on, and being able to prevent a 4yr old destroying the place with shit. And -you're- bad with grammar #7.
zombieslayer83 19
Two birds with one stone. Good job #25.
DocBastard 40
It seems to me that the majority of the evidence could have been prevented if you just threw the little shitball into the bath, clothes and all. That way he gets a fun bubble bath, and you avoid any stains that you'd have trouble explaining.
PhotoSmith 25
That's what I do when my kids have diarrhea in their pants. Saves me a lot of clean up getting the crap out of the clothes before they hot the washer.
harrypotter955 19
That little shit...
RedPillSucks 33
More like a big shit.
Falassalond 16
I would want extra money if I had to clean it up. You seem calmer than I would be about this!
challan 19
That is a pretty crappy situation for the little squirt.
Ebola_fml 20
If the hand don't fit, you must acquit.
ironic_legacy 9
Yeah, I mean, declare him innocent OP, come on