Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up with an extremely irritable rash around my crotch. I didn't want to full out itch it by putting my hands down my pants, so I itched it by putting my hand in my pockets. I got kicked off the train for "pleasuring myself in public." FML
Today, I felt an itch on my butt so I went to the bathroom to scratch it. It was actually a dried layer of skin that broke from years of wear and tear, and now every time I shit I feel immense pain for the next hour. FML
Today, while shopping, I suddenly got the terrible urge to use the bathroom. I already had several items and my 5-year-old niece in tow, so I hurried to checkout. I ended up pissing myself. FML
Today, at work, I wet my pants. I had to throw my tighty-whities away. Since I didn't have underwear on, I chafed real bad and got a rash on my butthole and near my balls. I had to push my boyfriend off of me, all because it hurt too much to touch. FML
Today, I accidentally spilled water on my pants, and my crotch got soaked. To make things worse, I was in class at the time, and I had to walk home afterward. On top of that, I had to pass through a mall, and there were so many people staring at me the whole way. FML
Today, while at work, I used the restroom. After I noticed we were out of paper towels, I just tried shaking my hands dry. I then readjusted my bra, since it'd been driving me crazy all day. After getting back to my cubicle, I realized that I had two wet handprints over my boobs. FML
Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML
Today, my thigh was itchy, so I went into a bathroom stall to scratch it. I, for some reason, moaned out loud while doing it. After that, the men's bathroom went completely silent. FML
Today, I was shopping in a mall when I needed to go to the bathroom. One of the toilets was out of order, so I went to the other toilet. After that, there was no toilet paper, so when I saw tissue in the sink, I left the stall with my pants down and someone saw me. FML
Today, I came home after being stuck in traffic needing to pee really badly. When I went to the bathroom, my boyfriend was on the toilet. I couldn't hold it longer, so I went into the woods behind our house and found a bush. Relieving myself, my butt started to itch. I was sitting in Poison Ivy. FML
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Top comments
mrhahn530 0
You SCRATCHED it...what the hell is with people and thinking "itch" is a verb?
housemd1120 0
Hahahahahahaha that had to be a funny sight that sucks. Maybe you should think before you scratch
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Comments (88)
hpluba 0
why didnt u wait until it dried??
Jaywin 3
#7 fails. When you have an itch like the OP, you SCRATCH it. To the OP: Dry your hands next time.
fatfaceunited 0
#9 
 did you even go to the link i provided? if you did can you read? the third definition of the word "itch" is "to scratch a part that itches." Scratch is an appropriate word to use here, but so is itch. They are both "proper" you pretentious pig.
Ricky23J 0
yea you pretentious pigs.
24788 7
I do that all the time at work. It's usually when it's raining out though.
msrock 0
This is kinda dumb. Who approved this one? In no way is this a FML.
shananigans 0
#7 is right, to say "I itched it" is not incorrect.
Murdock7x4 0
meh, the way i understood it was if you say "I itch." it's b/c your body itches, not that you are physically using your hand to scratch something. Therefore, you itch, so you scratch. Either way, it isn't important. What IS important is figuring out why your crotch suddenly started to itch after you used a public toilet. Time to go to the clinic, I'd say. You never know what goes on in those public restrooms.
Jaywin 3
Actually I did #14/fatfaceunited and right next to the definition you provided it says INFORMAL as in NOT proper to say when using correct English.
katieface 0
you itched an itch?
anglcdvl89 0
At least you washed your hands. People seem to think those sinks are just decoration nowadays.