Miscellaneous Stained

Stained

maddie94 - 27/04/2009 09:14 - Australia

Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML

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IsThisRealLife - 01/02/2016 17:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up with an extremely irritable rash around my crotch. I didn't want to full out itch it by putting my hands down my pants, so I itched it by putting my hand in my pockets. I got kicked off the train for "pleasuring myself in public." FML

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What even is that?

git recked lul - 01/12/2023 06:00 - United States - Allen Park

Today, I felt an itch on my butt so I went to the bathroom to scratch it. It was actually a dried layer of skin that broke from years of wear and tear, and now every time I shit I feel immense pain for the next hour. FML

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Lydlsis - 30/10/2015 23:53 - United States

Today, while shopping, I suddenly got the terrible urge to use the bathroom. I already had several items and my 5-year-old niece in tow, so I hurried to checkout. I ended up pissing myself. FML

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Pissed

Matt - 13/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, at work, I wet my pants. I had to throw my tighty-whities away. Since I didn't have underwear on, I chafed real bad and got a rash on my butthole and near my balls. I had to push my boyfriend off of me, all because it hurt too much to touch. FML

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Stop staring

Anonymous - 06/05/2025 21:00 - China - Suzhou

Today, I accidentally spilled water on my pants, and my crotch got soaked. To make things worse, I was in class at the time, and I had to walk home afterward. On top of that, I had to pass through a mall, and there were so many people staring at me the whole way. FML

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Handy

Employee - 07/08/2012 19:17 - United States - Lincoln

Today, while at work, I used the restroom. After I noticed we were out of paper towels, I just tried shaking my hands dry. I then readjusted my bra, since it'd been driving me crazy all day. After getting back to my cubicle, I realized that I had two wet handprints over my boobs. FML

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spiderwoman - 04/11/2012 17:12 - Iceland - Reykjav

Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML

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XavierLing - 23/07/2019 06:00

Today, my thigh was itchy, so I went into a bathroom stall to scratch it. I, for some reason, moaned out loud while doing it. After that, the men's bathroom went completely silent. FML

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When you gotta go, you gotta go

Amanda Howard - 15/03/2020 09:00

Today, I came home after being stuck in traffic needing to pee really badly. When I went to the bathroom, my boyfriend was on the toilet. I couldn't hold it longer, so I went into the woods behind our house and found a bush. Relieving myself, my butt started to itch. I was sitting in Poison Ivy. FML

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FutureMarine3658 - 08/08/2012 14:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, out of habit, after scratching my balls, I then smelled my hand. It was at that moment I realized most of my gym was staring at me. FML

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mrhahn530 0

Monday 27 April 2009 21:14

You SCRATCHED it...what the hell is with people and thinking "itch" is a verb?

housemd1120 0

Monday 27 April 2009 21:12

Hahahahahahaha that had to be a funny sight that sucks. Maybe you should think before you scratch

sLap_fml 0

Monday 27 April 2009 21:38

the english does not really matter, clearly we know what this person means. they most likely scratched their crotch before they had time to dry their hands, i get sudden itches like that all the time.

greenman_fml 0

Monday 27 April 2009 21:40

OH NO! YOUR LIFE IS TOTALLY ****** BECAUSE COMPLETE STRANGERS THAT YOU WILL NEVER SEE AGAIN SAW SOME WATER ON YOUR PANTS!!! I FEEL SO BAD FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!11!11!11 ROFLMAO

ridder215 7

Tuesday 24 August 2010 0:24

You have a moustache, YOUR life is over -.-

rukusrazor 0

Monday 27 April 2009 21:58

I would have put a matching set of wet hand prints on my ass cheeks too. Then when people are gawking my junk, attempt to high-five with them.

Wololo 0

Monday 27 April 2009 22:13

you couldn't wait a bit for it to just dry, or at least dab at it with a paper towel before going back out? Not exactly what I'd call an FML situation.

Amkii 0

Monday 27 April 2009 22:15

How the hell do you 'itch' something?? Do you mean you 'scratched' it? I think so.

bartmasta 0

Monday 27 April 2009 22:29

BAWWWWW I GOT MY PANTS WET WHO THE **** CARES

butteredtoast 0

Monday 27 April 2009 22:33

You do not "itch" an itch. You SCRATCH an itch. I'm so sick of people saying they itch their itches.

madhops0620 0

Monday 27 April 2009 22:43

i agree with 29, and besides your pants would dry in like 2 minutes anyway. Get over it. not an FML

123654789 0

Monday 27 April 2009 22:42

YDI for having crabs. And by the way, itch can definitely be used as a verb here. This is not a term paper. He's not publishing it anywhere. This is an informal setting; informal usage is fine.

wompwompwomp 0

Monday 27 April 2009 22:44

Today, i was hammered in a bar, and wound up pissing all over my shorts. Even though i was drunk i came up with the great idea of just putting water all over the front side of my shorts!! Since it was already dark in the bar, no one noticed, and in the process i "kind of" cleaned my shorts. This is not an FML. I felt quite proud at myself for avoiding a potentially awkward moment.