Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up with an extremely irritable rash around my crotch. I didn't want to full out itch it by putting my hands down my pants, so I itched it by putting my hand in my pockets. I got kicked off the train for "pleasuring myself in public." FML
Today, I felt an itch on my butt so I went to the bathroom to scratch it. It was actually a dried layer of skin that broke from years of wear and tear, and now every time I shit I feel immense pain for the next hour. FML
Today, while shopping, I suddenly got the terrible urge to use the bathroom. I already had several items and my 5-year-old niece in tow, so I hurried to checkout. I ended up pissing myself. FML
Today, at work, I wet my pants. I had to throw my tighty-whities away. Since I didn't have underwear on, I chafed real bad and got a rash on my butthole and near my balls. I had to push my boyfriend off of me, all because it hurt too much to touch. FML
Today, I accidentally spilled water on my pants, and my crotch got soaked. To make things worse, I was in class at the time, and I had to walk home afterward. On top of that, I had to pass through a mall, and there were so many people staring at me the whole way. FML
Today, while at work, I used the restroom. After I noticed we were out of paper towels, I just tried shaking my hands dry. I then readjusted my bra, since it'd been driving me crazy all day. After getting back to my cubicle, I realized that I had two wet handprints over my boobs. FML
Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML
Today, my thigh was itchy, so I went into a bathroom stall to scratch it. I, for some reason, moaned out loud while doing it. After that, the men's bathroom went completely silent. FML
Today, I was shopping in a mall when I needed to go to the bathroom. One of the toilets was out of order, so I went to the other toilet. After that, there was no toilet paper, so when I saw tissue in the sink, I left the stall with my pants down and someone saw me. FML
Today, I came home after being stuck in traffic needing to pee really badly. When I went to the bathroom, my boyfriend was on the toilet. I couldn't hold it longer, so I went into the woods behind our house and found a bush. Relieving myself, my butt started to itch. I was sitting in Poison Ivy. FML
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Top comments
mrhahn530 0
You SCRATCHED it...what the hell is with people and thinking "itch" is a verb?
housemd1120 0
Hahahahahahaha that had to be a funny sight that sucks. Maybe you should think before you scratch
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Comments (88)
sLap_fml 0
the english does not really matter, clearly we know what this person means. they most likely scratched their crotch before they had time to dry their hands, i get sudden itches like that all the time.
greenman_fml 0
OH NO! YOUR LIFE IS TOTALLY ****** BECAUSE COMPLETE STRANGERS THAT YOU WILL NEVER SEE AGAIN SAW SOME WATER ON YOUR PANTS!!! I FEEL SO BAD FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!11!11!11 ROFLMAO
ridder215 7
You have a moustache, YOUR life is over -.-
rukusrazor 0
I would have put a matching set of wet hand prints on my ass cheeks too. Then when people are gawking my junk, attempt to high-five with them.
Wololo 0
you couldn't wait a bit for it to just dry, or at least dab at it with a paper towel before going back out? Not exactly what I'd call an FML situation.
Amkii 0
How the hell do you 'itch' something?? Do you mean you 'scratched' it? I think so.
bartmasta 0
BAWWWWW I GOT MY PANTS WET WHO THE **** CARES
butteredtoast 0
You do not "itch" an itch. You SCRATCH an itch. I'm so sick of people saying they itch their itches.
madhops0620 0
i agree with 29, and besides your pants would dry in like 2 minutes anyway. Get over it. not an FML
123654789 0
YDI for having crabs. And by the way, itch can definitely be used as a verb here. This is not a term paper. He's not publishing it anywhere. This is an informal setting; informal usage is fine.
wompwompwomp 0
Today, i was hammered in a bar, and wound up pissing all over my shorts. Even though i was drunk i came up with the great idea of just putting water all over the front side of my shorts!! Since it was already dark in the bar, no one noticed, and in the process i "kind of" cleaned my shorts. This is not an FML. I felt quite proud at myself for avoiding a potentially awkward moment.