Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up with an extremely irritable rash around my crotch. I didn't want to full out itch it by putting my hands down my pants, so I itched it by putting my hand in my pockets. I got kicked off the train for "pleasuring myself in public." FML
Today, I felt an itch on my butt so I went to the bathroom to scratch it. It was actually a dried layer of skin that broke from years of wear and tear, and now every time I shit I feel immense pain for the next hour. FML
Today, while shopping, I suddenly got the terrible urge to use the bathroom. I already had several items and my 5-year-old niece in tow, so I hurried to checkout. I ended up pissing myself. FML
Today, at work, I wet my pants. I had to throw my tighty-whities away. Since I didn't have underwear on, I chafed real bad and got a rash on my butthole and near my balls. I had to push my boyfriend off of me, all because it hurt too much to touch. FML
Today, I accidentally spilled water on my pants, and my crotch got soaked. To make things worse, I was in class at the time, and I had to walk home afterward. On top of that, I had to pass through a mall, and there were so many people staring at me the whole way. FML
Today, while at work, I used the restroom. After I noticed we were out of paper towels, I just tried shaking my hands dry. I then readjusted my bra, since it'd been driving me crazy all day. After getting back to my cubicle, I realized that I had two wet handprints over my boobs. FML
Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML
Today, my thigh was itchy, so I went into a bathroom stall to scratch it. I, for some reason, moaned out loud while doing it. After that, the men's bathroom went completely silent. FML
Today, I was shopping in a mall when I needed to go to the bathroom. One of the toilets was out of order, so I went to the other toilet. After that, there was no toilet paper, so when I saw tissue in the sink, I left the stall with my pants down and someone saw me. FML
Today, I came home after being stuck in traffic needing to pee really badly. When I went to the bathroom, my boyfriend was on the toilet. I couldn't hold it longer, so I went into the woods behind our house and found a bush. Relieving myself, my butt started to itch. I was sitting in Poison Ivy. FML
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Top comments
mrhahn530 0
You SCRATCHED it...what the hell is with people and thinking "itch" is a verb?
housemd1120 0
Hahahahahahaha that had to be a funny sight that sucks. Maybe you should think before you scratch
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Comments (88)
GrapefruitZoe 0
2, itch IS a verb. It's just intransitive. For example: "My leg itches." Leg is the subject, and there is no object. However, "I itched my leg" is not correct because leg is the object.
MrJentipede 2
I concur, people misplacing "scratch" with "itch" bothers me to no end.
iamSTEVE 0
Dry your hands next time, noob.
joecoyote 0
I bet anyone who said YDI is a female. Or at least they never had one of those burning sensations in their crotch region
finalyearsofhate 22
um..ok, but op is a female too. so your point is...?
ecilart 0
definitely not a FML, it's just water and it dries off of clothing. big woop.
SpliffyMcBlunt 0
First of all the person who posted this is a girl for any of you who don't realize. Second of all to the girl who posted this, please stop masturbating in public washrooms as you might get crabs, unless you call me first and i could help you out. last of all this is not an FML for you, it is an FEWWTTRTPL (**** everyone who wasted their time reading this post's life)
I_am_stupid_also 6
Today, I was walking around the shopping center with my crotch dripping wet and everyone was laughing at me because I used an intransitive verb with an object. FML.
sciencenerd 0
That's why you pull down your pants, scratch, then re-wash your hands. Problem solved. :P
Demonchild 0
Bro u godda do what ya gotta do. If you gotta scratch da sax then u gotta scratchem every man should know that. We scratch before we think its instinct. Be prouda that mark it shows the chix that u gottam.
ThatsAli3 0
intransitive verb???? what the heck. We're not in english class? = P but this isn't that bad....