Today, I woke up with an extremely irritable rash around my crotch. I didn't want to full out itch it by putting my hands down my pants, so I itched it by putting my hand in my pockets. I got kicked off the train for "pleasuring myself in public." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML
Today, at work, I wet my pants. I had to throw my tighty-whities away. Since I didn't have underwear on, I chafed real bad and got a rash on my butthole and near my balls. I had to push my boyfriend off of me, all because it hurt too much to touch. FML
Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML
Today, my thigh was itchy, so I went into a bathroom stall to scratch it. I, for some reason, moaned out loud while doing it. After that, the men's bathroom went completely silent. FML
Today, I was on a crowded subway going home. My trousers were a bit dusty so I tried to dust myself off. As I was slapping the side of my leg I missed and hit a woman behind me in the ass. She called me a pervert and walked off. Everyone stared at me. It takes 40 minutes to get home. FML
Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML
Today, I felt an itch on my butt so I went to the bathroom to scratch it. It was actually a dried layer of skin that broke from years of wear and tear, and now every time I shit I feel immense pain for the next hour. FML
Today, I was dry-walling a house when my butt started to itch. I bent over to scratch it on a piece of plywood, at which point the client's wife walked in and asked what the fuck I was doing. FML
Today, I ran to catch the subway, slipped, and my pants ripped across the back. I got on the train trying to cover the hole, only to realize the train was packed with people staring straight at my underwear though my fingers. To make it worse, my phone started playing loud music and I froze as I considered which situation to fix first. FML
Today, I was on a plane when I suddenly felt the need to use the toilet. I didn't make it in time and I had to spend the remainder of my trip in soiled clothes. FML
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Top comments
JusstJef 16
Please don't elaborate on the rash. We don't need to know.
Coffee5555 14
says the one with a pic like that....
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Comments (60)
OhWhoCares 42
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Why not just wait until you can adjust yourself in a bathroom?
Coffee5555 14
says the one with a pic like that....
FranticLol101 11
Well was the itching pleasurable?
MrsPine 17
Maybe you should get that checked out, OP.
Bunnyluver 20
You can have an itch and not need it to be checked out.
JusstJef 16
Please don't elaborate on the rash. We don't need to know.
EcchiShojo 4
Yeah, that's not atopic I would want to talk about.
beeferjay 34
probably shouldn't have salvaged that free couch from up the road
LiteralxShit 15
I mean, I think that scratching an itch would be pretty pleasurable.
AC98 19
At least you're not itchy anymore
Replyka 17
Except they probably are because rashes tend to keep on itching.
Darkness_Hate 29
Indeed it's hard to get rid of that feeling..especially in public.
nash1991 20
Maybe clean that area better next time you're taking a shower. Shouldn't be waking up with rashes there in the first place
BlockOfRedStone 25
When I wear a bathing suit I ALWAYS get a rash there (on the inside thighs, which is close enough to call the crotch area). That's why I hate going to water parks because walking around in a wet bathing suit just irritates the skin there too much.
Xynie 20
Ummm i don't think you're suppose to get a rash wearing a bathing suit. Maybe it's too small or you have really sensitive skin?
CheshireHalli 19
She did say the inside of her thighs, and I don't know about you, but my legs rub together some when I walk. Wet skin tends to make chafing or a rash like appearance. So it might not be a too small suit.
iAmPaul 49
@37: #17 is a guy.
Saxicolous 27
Guys have legs too y'know
ViviMage 40
Get some cortisone cream or something for nappy rash!
andrmac 25
Cortisone BAD if that's jock itch and you aren't using anti fungus cream too. Could actually make it worse and cause it to spread since fungus loves moisture.