Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be spontaneous and do something sexy. I started taking his underwear off with my teeth. My teeth dragged over his shaft, and my braces cut up his foreskin in the process. Now he's not talking to me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be sexy and take off my clothes with his teeth. He ended up biting my leg. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to pull down my panties with his teeth but it proved more difficult than he thought, so he got a real good mouthful and gave it a really hard pull. They did come down, but he also pulled out what felt like half my pubes. FML
Today, I learned that removing your boyfriends boxers with your teeth is waaaay less sexy when you accidentally bite a chunk of his pubes and yank them out in the process. FML
Today my boyfriend tried to be sexy and rip off my underwear. Instead, he bit a chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, in the middle of hot passionate sex with my husband, he stops and tells me he won't be able to finish until I go brush my teeth. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML
Today, during sex with my new boyfriend, he gave me such an intense oral sex orgasm, I clenched my jaw and broke one of my back teeth. FML
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Top comments
iluvhobos 5
I'm surprised you didn't get pubes caught in your teeth
dmcp77 1
braces and penis do NOT mix. poor guy.
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Comments (312)
phatdaddy62 23
NO TEETH!!!
trey9991 0
F for effort
lucdaddyfresh 0
I agree with135. embarrassing how single minded some people are. Grow up!
SLP9008 0
Amateurs shouldn't try to be sexy. Just stick to being good and original until you're old enough or smart enough to realize braces and dicks don't mix. I'm a girl and I'm pretty sure this should be F*HIS Life, not yours..
meowmeowwkitty 0
atleast his name isn't "every1luvsforeskin"?
atomicbaboon 0
YboyfriendDI for dating someone with braces.
atomicbaboon 0
that's the only benefit of braces. you can save some for seconds.
sickjairo 7
Don't forget the cockmeat sandwich hahahahaha
milli333 0
ppl really aside from religion being circumcised is about hygiene. theres no difference between the two other then pulling the foreskin down and cleaning it that way. other then that no difference ppl who say it's nasty r just to damn lazy to clean their dick that way...
RomanBeauty 0
braces? how old are you?! children STOP having sex!!!
missysangel 4
ikr!