Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be spontaneous and do something sexy. I started taking his underwear off with my teeth. My teeth dragged over his shaft, and my braces cut up his foreskin in the process. Now he's not talking to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be sexy and take off my clothes with his teeth. He ended up biting my leg. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to pull down my panties with his teeth but it proved more difficult than he thought, so he got a real good mouthful and gave it a really hard pull. They did come down, but he also pulled out what felt like half my pubes. FML
Today, I learned that removing your boyfriends boxers with your teeth is waaaay less sexy when you accidentally bite a chunk of his pubes and yank them out in the process. FML
Today my boyfriend tried to be sexy and rip off my underwear. Instead, he bit a chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, in the middle of hot passionate sex with my husband, he stops and tells me he won't be able to finish until I go brush my teeth. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML
Today, during sex with my new boyfriend, he gave me such an intense oral sex orgasm, I clenched my jaw and broke one of my back teeth. FML
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Top comments
iluvhobos 5
I'm surprised you didn't get pubes caught in your teeth
dmcp77 1
braces and penis do NOT mix. poor guy.
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Comments (312)
cparrenas 3
you're an idiot for trying.
AssDan 0
tl;dr
evilcartman 0
foreskin is so outdated, lol tell him to remove that shit already.
bennyboy111 7
WTF man circumcision is outdated use a condom instead
NYBellz 0
he's going to need therapy
Mythicleb 0
braces are very sexy and guys should be circumcised!!!
briidontgive_ 0
Lmaooooooo hahahhahahhaha !! Fyl opp thaat thot shuda. Crossed ur mind
Gadomski87 2
That hurt me just reading it, ouch!
at1325 0
I put ydi because you should know braces make anything and everything with your mouth difficult. I had braces and that becomes obvious right after they are done putting them on. you should have tried something sexy that did not involve your impaired mouth.
newfiegirl 8
154, thanks:) . and what does Newfie have to do with anything!!? newfies rock!
sammyxduh 0
Ouch; poor guy. Don't go down on your man if you have braces then.