Today, my boyfriend tried to be sexy and take off my clothes with his teeth. He ended up biting my leg. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today my boyfriend tried to be sexy and rip off my underwear. Instead, he bit a chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be spontaneous and do something sexy. I started taking his underwear off with my teeth. My teeth dragged over his shaft, and my braces cut up his foreskin in the process. Now he's not talking to me. FML
Today, I was being playful with my boyfriend and put a chocolate between my legs. He bit the chocolate. My lips too... FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML
Today, I was getting frisky with my husband under the covers in bed. My son decided to run into our room and cannonball on top of my husband. This startled him, which caused him to bite me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play fighting. He said, "I should stop trying to hurt you," before punching me in the face. I lost a tooth. He found it hilarious. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to viciously rip off my thong. My ass crack is numb. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to kiss me as we were walking home. It was very icy and he slipped. His teeth went through my lip. FML
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Top comments
U_idiot 1
FYL because your boyfriend accidentally bit your leg? I wouldn't want to be around when some terrible/FML worthy actually happens to you.
DameGreyWulf 1
Ah well? A little nibble doesn't hurt so bad. At least he tried.
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Comments (56)
DameGreyWulf 1
Ah well? A little nibble doesn't hurt so bad. At least he tried.
Clare420 0
This isn't an FML. I like it when my boyfriend bites me(;
MarisaCB 16
God, my boyfriend did that. Hurts a lot when they completely miss.
lrb081 0
If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out of her nose?
zezjo 3
ha.
Raynuh 0
hahaha
reapfml 0
So are you into Twilight?
U_idiot 1
FYL because your boyfriend accidentally bit your leg? I wouldn't want to be around when some terrible/FML worthy actually happens to you.
AKBIGCAL 0
my gf considers dat foreplay... haha
epaisseur 0
my bf usually bites on purpose, hehe. but yeah you need to get out more. this is in no way an fml.
oxrox 0
How is THAT sexy?
99MDC 0
Not an fml. Stop being a whiner. If you want your boyfriend to do things like that you have to overlook things like biting. I hope you didn't freak at him, and if you did, don't expect the relationship to last long
perdix 31
Back in my day, we'd call that a hickey.
Rota 0
HOW THE **** DID THIS PASS MODERATION?!
RachelTM 0
We have a twisted sense of humor. ;-)