Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be spontaneous and do something sexy. I started taking his underwear off with my teeth. My teeth dragged over his shaft, and my braces cut up his foreskin in the process. Now he's not talking to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be sexy and take off my clothes with his teeth. He ended up biting my leg. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to pull down my panties with his teeth but it proved more difficult than he thought, so he got a real good mouthful and gave it a really hard pull. They did come down, but he also pulled out what felt like half my pubes. FML
Today, I learned that removing your boyfriends boxers with your teeth is waaaay less sexy when you accidentally bite a chunk of his pubes and yank them out in the process. FML
Today my boyfriend tried to be sexy and rip off my underwear. Instead, he bit a chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, in the middle of hot passionate sex with my husband, he stops and tells me he won't be able to finish until I go brush my teeth. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML
Today, during sex with my new boyfriend, he gave me such an intense oral sex orgasm, I clenched my jaw and broke one of my back teeth. FML
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Top comments
iluvhobos 5
I'm surprised you didn't get pubes caught in your teeth
dmcp77 1
braces and penis do NOT mix. poor guy.
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Comments (312)
ryukk_fml 3
this exact story has already been posted.. maybe you should actually get a sex-life instead of reposting about everyone else's.
Jorvik 0
Just be glad you're not his ex girlfriend. :) Also, I feel kind of sorry for the circumcised guys. You've lost out on at least 25% of the pleasure from sex for no reason.
wbt83 0
I agree!
calvin10 0
you wearing braces makes me wonder if maybe you're quite the young one anyways...
chopstick2125 0
I had to wait for my bf to get his braces off before I let him near my fire crotch, but once he did, I found out he can deep throat. See what happens if you wait like you are suppose to?
hurray4jmk 1
You're a moron for not thinking about that before going through with it.
ImInHawaiiBITCH 0
win!
AubriS 0
your odd
carical 0
i'm a girl but that sounds very painful. if i was him i would've kicked your ****** :-)
auston92 2
who the hell has foreskin anymore?,
bennyboy111 7
most people
LadyLane 0
I bet she was Jewish and wanted him to be accepted in the family (;