Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be spontaneous and do something sexy. I started taking his underwear off with my teeth. My teeth dragged over his shaft, and my braces cut up his foreskin in the process. Now he's not talking to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be sexy and take off my clothes with his teeth. He ended up biting my leg. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to pull down my panties with his teeth but it proved more difficult than he thought, so he got a real good mouthful and gave it a really hard pull. They did come down, but he also pulled out what felt like half my pubes. FML
Today, I learned that removing your boyfriends boxers with your teeth is waaaay less sexy when you accidentally bite a chunk of his pubes and yank them out in the process. FML
Today my boyfriend tried to be sexy and rip off my underwear. Instead, he bit a chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, in the middle of hot passionate sex with my husband, he stops and tells me he won't be able to finish until I go brush my teeth. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML
Today, during sex with my new boyfriend, he gave me such an intense oral sex orgasm, I clenched my jaw and broke one of my back teeth. FML
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Top comments
iluvhobos 5
I'm surprised you didn't get pubes caught in your teeth
dmcp77 1
braces and penis do NOT mix. poor guy.
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Comments (312)
RedEG4 1
I feel bad for you. he should understand you were trying to be sexy despite the pain he'd be in.
acelucas 0
Poor puppy!
domosumo 0
Did you have to pick it out of your braces..?! FY mouth.. I mean life.
i_luv_u3030 3
eww u kno Wat is so desirable to women to put their mouth near dicks while havin sex dicks rly aren't dat well good looking... anyways I suggest u keep ur mouth away from ur husband/boyfriend pants until u get those braces off
2112mike 4
doesn't matter what you do; braces are NOT sexy..
bloopster 2
When do people learn that when you've got metal in your mouth, you do not go anywhere near someone's genitalia with that mouth!
xXscream_girlXx 0
foreskins are not sexy...
JenL_fml 7
and you think having a piece of a penis missing is?
kportal69 5
a couple things... 1. it is NOT sexy to pull a guys boxers down with your teeth. hence why that's really left for girls to be done to. 2. everyone knows braces + genitals = bad things happening 3. I not blame him for not talking to you. it's not like you were giving him head. you ****** that up big time. I wouldnt talk to you either. 4. NEVER ATTEMPT THIS AGAIN.
jon7688 7
if you're young enough to have braces && him not talk to you after that happened, you shouldn't be having sex
icantthinkofgood 5
Braces?? What are you, 12?