Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be spontaneous and do something sexy. I started taking his underwear off with my teeth. My teeth dragged over his shaft, and my braces cut up his foreskin in the process. Now he's not talking to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be sexy and take off my clothes with his teeth. He ended up biting my leg. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to pull down my panties with his teeth but it proved more difficult than he thought, so he got a real good mouthful and gave it a really hard pull. They did come down, but he also pulled out what felt like half my pubes. FML
Today, I learned that removing your boyfriends boxers with your teeth is waaaay less sexy when you accidentally bite a chunk of his pubes and yank them out in the process. FML
Today my boyfriend tried to be sexy and rip off my underwear. Instead, he bit a chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, in the middle of hot passionate sex with my husband, he stops and tells me he won't be able to finish until I go brush my teeth. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML
Today, during sex with my new boyfriend, he gave me such an intense oral sex orgasm, I clenched my jaw and broke one of my back teeth. FML
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Top comments
iluvhobos 5
I'm surprised you didn't get pubes caught in your teeth
dmcp77 1
braces and penis do NOT mix. poor guy.
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Comments (312)
jallee 1
what I find odd is that you were "getting it on" and then decided to take his underwear off. I'm fairly certain that "getting it on" doesn't mean making out.
alexavb15 4
Ha Better Luck Next Time Hun !
AubriS 0
Why is every word capitalized? :-/
alexavb15 4
Hm Cause iCan Do That,? Problem,?
chili_is_good 0
do you think of this stuff as you go? because was hilarious but strange.
theservant 1
deserve it for being filthy by having a foreskin.
RedPillSucks 33
Since OP is a woman, I'm sure she doesn't have foreskin.
shajenjen 0
how old r u 11 u shouldn't be suckin that young
bobsanction 18
Lucky you still have teeth after that.
meintx 9
If you had Invisalign this never would have happened. ;)
Country29 16
Okay well you sound kinda young.. and noone at the age to get braces should be doing stuff like that at all.
missIrene 6
uhh people over 18 can have braces too genius who are you to tell people wat they should and shouldn't be doing?
wiggs5 0
he's probably one of those really weird people who really don't have lives & are really disgusting.. which would explain why he's posting on almost every fml possible? Hm.... oh! but don't get me wrong, some of his responses to things are funny. but this?.. DISGUSTING.
NextBigThing5044 0
Ow, braces ruin people's moments. And what is your boyfriend? Nine? Tell him to grow up its not like you secretly planned on cutting his foreskin.
hunt3009 16
Still hurts like hell though...