Today, my daughter, who was born in late 2000, mentioned how amazing it is that she'll be alive during the year 3000. I asked her exactly how old she thinks she'll be by then. She said, "Thirty, duh." I've screwed up as a parent, so very badly. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter announced that she's pregnant. I'm going to be a 37 year-old grandmother. FML
Today, it was my birthday and I have no children. My father bluntly says, "Well, I guess if I get any grand-babies out of you now, they will have Down's Syndrome." I just turned 30. FML
Today, I was talking with my Grandma, who lives on the opposite side of the state, and congratulated her on reaching 87. She said she was hoping to reach 90. My brain went in a very morbid direction as I quietly wondered if she'd live to 90. She didn't hear it but my dad, her son, did. Apologizing didn't help. FML
Today, it was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML
Today, my daughter announced on Facebook that she is directly descended from extra-terrestrials. That would be okay - except she's 25 and believes it's true. FML
Today, on my first day at a new job, my boss asked how old I was. I replied, "Eighteen." She responded that she was my age thirty years ago, which makes her the same age as my mum. When I told her, she gave me a puzzled look, so I repeated myself. She was my age thirteen years ago, not thirty. FML
Today, my nineteen year-old daughter handed me a book on raising children and said, "Maybe you'll do better next time." FML
Today, I'd always thought my sister was an idiot for having her kids in her teens and early 20s before she was ready. Thing is, she’s now in her early 30s, her kids are grown, and she’s loving life. I had my kids in my 30s. By the time they’re grown, I’ll be old and broken down. FML
Today, my husband's daughter told us that she's 5 months pregnant. I'm going to be a step grandmother and I'm only 23 years old. FML
Today, my daughter told me she “doesn’t ever see herself getting in a relationship” and “dating just isn’t for her.” She’s 30 and has never been with anyone. FML
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Top comments
michelleJ11 25
Did you ask her the explain this logic? I want to know her secret & live until the year 3000. You never know OP, she could be the next Albert Einstein.
soccerstar1996 18
What if OP's daughter created a time machine and plans on traveling to the year 3000 when she turns 30? And she can bring all of their technology and solutions to our time and creates a paradox where our past is more advanced than their future and therefore creates a cycle where the future's ultra advanced technology comes to our time and makes the future even more advanced? BOOM MINDFUCK
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Comments (211)
michelleJ11 25
Did you ask her the explain this logic? I want to know her secret & live until the year 3000. You never know OP, she could be the next Albert Einstein.
soccerstar1996 18
What if OP's daughter created a time machine and plans on traveling to the year 3000 when she turns 30? And she can bring all of their technology and solutions to our time and creates a paradox where our past is more advanced than their future and therefore creates a cycle where the future's ultra advanced technology comes to our time and makes the future even more advanced? BOOM MINDFUCK
SillySweetGirl 18
I was thinking the same thing.
TheDoctor10 28
I'm sorry, but I can't allow that. It could rip a hole space and time the size of Belgium.
angelofmusic113 9
Doctor! Is that you?
pmnj19 8
No! Nobody blink! Dont look away and dont blink!
soccerstar1996 18
I think this qualifies as mental masturbation because I ****** my own mind writing that...
webbface 25
I love how this tread has turned into a DW conversation, totally disregarding how the woman's kid cannot do math hahaha.
alonur 6
#39 No, this is Patrick!!
devildee101 15
ill call matha Jones so she can help you doctor
Mossears133 15
Looks like we've already found 13!
sk3p71k 13
Exterminate!! Exterminate!!!!!
TheLittleBear 19
28 - I think your picture needs updating. :)
PenguinBitch 44
@19 GREAT SCOTT!
Kesshin 8
My theory is, that analogy isn't quite relative.
iluvFMLs15 19
that was so awesome!!! that was like a mind **** x3,000 teehee. (being serious)
SwaggCapone 11
Can't fix stupid OP
Zimmington 21
Maybe she thinks she's a vampire that ages 1 year for every 10 that pass
blackman100 20
Shouldn't it be a futurama thread instead of doctor who? Just saying. (Nothing against DW)
TheDoctor10 28
Sort of a necropost, but going to the future and bringing back advanced technology would create a paradox. If the tech is brought back to the present and "invented" here, it won't have to be invented in the future. If it isn't invented in the future it won't exist to bring back here. Simple cause and effect.
KB616 11
Genius.
PterodactylMan 23
She's thinking outside the box
NoMore_CoolNames 14
We're still thinking 2000 and late, she's on 3000.
firefighter925 18
She's still young.
michaelaranda 28
Hes right, late 2000s means 2007 onward. She cant me older than 7 years old. So **** u op, for thinking that your daughter couldnt do math at that young age. If she was 12, that would be an fml. Six years old? U are a horrible parent, but for a different reason. And whats with the whole, "ive completely failed as a parent" bullshit? Still 12 more years. Get off this site you attention seeking *****. I hate you op.
NoMore_CoolNames 14
He said late 2000, not 2000's
MexiMental 10
Late 2000? o_o
thrAsHeRr9081 16
I'd consider late 2000 to be 2005 or later, so at most OP's daughter would be 8? I don't see this to be absolutely terrible if her daughter is that young.
gzmn91 6
Late 2000 means in the last months of 2000....how is it 2005? So, she is almost 13.
perdix 31
#3, yes, she's 12 years old. She may have turned 13 in the past month or so. It didn't say "late 2000's" which would have made her less than 8.
ElementaryEdGuy 18
She said late 2000, not 2000s. Late 2000 would be June-December 2000. So, OP's daughter is 12 or 13. O.O
thrAsHeRr9081 16
Gotcha, just read it wrong :)
ElementaryEdGuy 18
While we're at it, can we talk about how 2000 was 13 years ago? I mean, really?
MissMustard 20
You mean 1990 wasn't 10years ago?! Gets me every time.
Uramonkey 11
Maybe she will jump into one of those freezers from Futurama in 17 years. After about a 1000 years, she will still have the body of a 30 year old!
queerchristian 5
August to December of 2000
kewlaidman10 15
Faith in humanity -200 pts.
tiernang 21
Leave these comments for ifunny.EDIT: actually, just dont comment these at all.
miiapaige 14
No faith in humanity, exhibit A.
ILoveMyArm 15
Yes, it is completely rational to lose faith in humanity because of one person.
adb1827 17
just wait a minute, exhibit B onwards might be really bad!
tiernang 21
see comment 12, replying to comment 4.
beautiful_hope 16
It's not always parenting that screws kids up. Kids just have a different logic than adults. If you explained it to her, then you're not a bad parent. Letting her continue to believe something that's false would make you a bad parent.
Welshite 40
I guess all those parents who say Santa, the Easter bunny, and the tooth fairy are doing Satan's work.
andyxagony 6
She was born in late 2000, meaning she's almost 13. She should be smart enough to know that she won't be alive then.
randm_dude 9
That is true, though we are talking about a twelve to thirteen year old teenager here, and not some kid in elementary school. So some basic concepts of mathematics should exist. Anyway, I guess she won't go to MIT.
FinJage 18
89 - How are you so sure that science won't progress and drastically prolong life?
svalaedgren 18
How did you screw up as a parent? She's 13 and just simply miscalculated. It happens to everyone.
NoMore_CoolNames 14
Miscalculating by ~970 years is normal? She's 13, she should know how wrong she was by now.
NoMore_CoolNames 14
Well, less than 970, but you get my point.
Mossears133 15
Maybe she had a massive brain fart and thought 3000 was 2030.
TheModernPatriot 14
She screwed up because by the age of 13, with an IQ of 70, which is the IQ for a retarded person, she should know that from 2000 to 3000 is exactly 1000 years. I know a few people who are retarded and can tell you that.
jc10x 8
^Tf you talking about
ballettillidie 8
Really #124 because there is no such thing as a retarded person. A person can have autism or down syndrome, but they are not, nor will they ever be, retarded. Op's daughter... Just lacks any form of intelligence
mfmylifesrsly 30
154 - Um, there most certainly IS such thing as someone being retarded. I know a few people who are mentally retarded. My mother's old friend's daughter is 35 but her mind set is of an 18 month old. Even though the word "retarded" is thrown around a lot there is definitely such thing is as MR. I don't know where you got the idea that retardation isn't real.
Googolman 29
I think the term "retarded" is obsolete in that context.
kaileyy95 11
Perhaps OP hasn't mastered the art of sarcasm? (: at least I hope that's the case, for the sake of humanity
KB616 11
My name's Kailey too, spelled the same way :)
kaileyy95 11
Hahah, someone else who knows the frustration of not finding their name on gift shop souvenirs (:
Llama_Face89 34
It's impossible to find "Liam" on those too...
showmeyourears 19
"Daisy" also tends to be hard to find ._.
Welshite 40
Try finding "Zeus". Gawd. The ladies appreciate it though. ;)
RoboCunnilingus 23
Hell, try finding Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen.
sasyquin 13
try finding Ellie...
HowAreYouToday 34
try finding Howareyoutoday I mean really its impossible
tiernang 21
Tiernan isnt that common either...
rhysfucker 24
Maybe she'll be a successful politician. Apparently they're not required to know math, either.
ILoveMyArm 15
What do politicians and sperm have in common? About one in every 500 or 600 million have a chance at becoming a human.
skyeyez9 25
People who become politicians gravitate towards positions of power. They are by nature narcissistic, arrogant, and pathological liars.
olpally 33
My god... :/ you didn't fail, she's just that stupid.