Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend of two years expressing my feelings for her. She responded with, "I'm going to bed." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. She decided that her "gift to herself" would be to leave the loser who has been holding her back for two years. Hello, my name is Ben, and I'm that loser. FML
Today, thirty minutes after the end of a great date with a great girl, she texted me, "Yeah, uh, never come near me again." FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML
Today, I was dumped. I ran home and cried and ranted on and on to my mother. After about 10 minutes of talking, she threw a book at my face and said, "No wonder he dumped you! You can't shut up!" FML
Today, my boyfriend of 2 years told me he had feelings for someone else. He also told me he wanted to continue dating me until things progressed further with the other woman. FML
Today, I got a text from my ex-boyfriend that said, "I love you." Thinking this meant he'd changed his mind about breaking up with me less than 24 hours before, I replied back excitedly. Turns out that was a text sent last weekend that didn't go through until now. What great timing. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend for another girl. This other girl helped me break up with her so we could date. After it was all done, she promptly rejected me and in front of everyone, saying how much of a douche I was for leaving my girlfriend for another girl. FML
Today, my wife, who has a drinking problem, looked me straight in the eye as she poured herself a "water" bottle to enjoy while at work. FML
Today, the girl I have a crush on texted me to go out tonight. When I got to her house, she peered at me quizzically and asked, "What do you want? Did I text you?" FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's one year old. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Does she know she's your "girlfriend," or are you a crazy stalker and she is your prey?
Wheredidgrungego 12
Maybe she wanted you to come with her?? Maybe you were about to have the best sex of your life but didn't realize it!
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Comments (109)
faerie91 8
It depends what you actually said to her. If your pouring your heart out was something big, she may just have needed time to process what you've said if it was a lot for her to take in.
Jakemachen54 0
Sucks to suck
alexab1310 9
Or! Maybe you're just a pansy and should grow a pair!
testosticor 4
huh. pretty sure i'm the girlfriend OP is describing. well, that sucks. for some background info, i was having a really stressful night and don't really respond well to gushy stuff in general, and especially not when i'm upset. still, i admit i was a total bitch. happy now?
coffee_man900 16
Noor, you're the best. :)
timmy_00738618 4
Nice guys always lose. Get used to it. Ha
MaoKittyMaoMao 6
Cuddle with her and try again tomorrow. :3
KiddNYC1O 22
While in bed, lock her hip with your leg. That'll show her!
jaq_d 0
Are you sure you were not drunk and doing this at 3 in the morning?
Namenlos_fml 20
Sounds like a text message....