Today, I drove to the liquor store completely naked except for my dressing gown, with a carload of idiot stoners who ran in and stole vodka, tequila and whiskey. We drank in a bush. Last week I was a good citizen, and now I'm white trash. I'm not quite sure what happened in between. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I woke up at a stranger's house after a long night of drinking. Before leaving, I decided to steal some mouthwash so I didn't smell like a liquor store. Thinking of the night before, I instinctively downed the Listerine like a shot and puked everywhere. FML
Today, I locked myself, drunk and naked, out of my hotel room. FML
Today, I woke up after a night of drinking in my backyard. All I was wearing were my boxers and one sock. I staggered up to see my car halfway through my garage wall, with a note saying, "Sorry dude". FML
Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML
Today, a stoned man tried to break into my house. Naked. FML
Today, I had to run to put the trash out for the garbage truck, only I was so hungover, I forgot I was only wearing an open dressing gown and no underwear. A few neighbours and passing cars got to see me swinging in the breeze. FML
Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML
Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML
Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML
Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML
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Top comments
razzberry 9
I mean.....honestly you have control here.
RakaI 8
You allowed it to yourself.
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Comments (234)
hyden121 2
You are the one making the poor choices and are responsible for your actions. YDI because you're too much of an idiot to figure that one out.
RockstarRN 10
Better to be white trash than low class...err maybe not!
dreamering 16
Ok, enough for tonight. You broke the FML record for having all your comments thumbed down heavily in one story in a matter of 3 minutes.
TKmax 5
Win ^
My_Nightmare 19
She's just trying to seem witty in a feeble attempt to be hired by FML. See her comment to #3's post. That's right, RN, we see right through you.
mistersheezy 7
It's ok RN I'll give you a thumbs up! (it might be out of sympathy though, I haven't decided yet)
foxhole 3
Hey RockstarRN!
xXCANUCKSXx 0
**** u idiot *****
cbdee 8
95 just wants some :D
mistersheezy 7
Not the case. Might be fun, but not the case.
starfish7 18
Trashy IS low class, (regardless of one's skin color).
DeadRob 13
lol xD
sshelbyy11 6
Gotta love them white trash folk
AeonForce 0
Sounds like it could happen to anyone...
reddawn85 8
My guess is Meth...
koritsiamou 2
Haha funny
KMtheDrummer 6
Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
sparklecherry 4
Good guess.
ollie179 21
What Happened Inbetween: Dr. Whitehead, PhD: he became a loser
maddi79 0
The world may never know
chuymac 3
I guess OP does not consider himself an idiot SMH
NoNotTheFace 8
You're not sure or you can't remember what happened in between? Hmm, what's your answer, Jim Carrey from Me Myself and Irene?
s0m3guy2010 21
The transformation always starts with watching an episode of Jerry Springer and then ends when you are watching yourself on Jerry Springer. You are past that point.