Today, due to medication I am taking that causes constipation, I have become all too accustomed to using a disposable rubber glove to dig crap out of my own butthole. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the medication I’ve been taking has caused me to become constipated for so long I'm now unable to go, because all my poop is a solid mass in my bowels no stool softener can touch. So a surgeon is either going up my ass with a hose and a spoon, or cutting open my stomach to remove it. FML
Today, I've been chronically constipated so long that I was actually grateful for the sudden blast of diarrhea that ruined my pants. FML
Today, I've had such bad constipation during my fourth pregnancy that I have now had to manually scoop the poop out of my ass to get things moving again. FML
Today, I was extremely constipated. This is a side effect of the medication I take to alleviate my stomach condition. Due to this same condition I can't eat much roughage. We have no laxatives or stool softeners, and I have been shitting bricks for three days. FML
Today, I had no choice but to unclog a toilet with my bare hands. FML
Today, my granny has been constipated for the past two days. She is too weak to get out of bed, so I ended up trying to dig the poop out of her butthole with a spoon. Yay me. FML
Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML
Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML
Today, I was finally able to get up and take a shit after being bedridden due to my knee surgery. I had diarrhea and because I can't properly bend my knee, I can't wipe my butt. FML
Today, my friend was extremely constipated when he used my toilet. I'm now having to go buy a new toothbrush, because he used mine to dig out his shit. FML
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Top comments
TMramrod 15
That's enough internet for today.
YBae 27
I guess using laxatives with your medication isn't recommended...?
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Comments (111)
Johnsmers 8
thats hot
nutella4life 14
sexy
TacoloverSWE 23
So kinky I can't handle it
mohamed_H 21
Weird fetish you got there...
xFiiRe 19
nothing to do here anymore....
iPixelCheese 19
Your photo goes with the comment so well #1
Johnsmers 8
thanks bby
CommentKing207 23
69th like ;);)
Johnsmers 8
69 is hot
WhosThatItsMe 8
#1: Literally moist.
samthompson 12
SAVAGE
YBae 27
I guess using laxatives with your medication isn't recommended...?
doodlecloud 27
There are loads of natural laxatives available though. OP should really talk to their doctor and sort out what they can and can't take; this just sounds dangerous tbh, as well obviously being gross.
love_me_electric 20
Just because something is natural doesn't mean it won't interact with the medication you're on. A lot of natural remedies actually work similar to the drugs, so they have the same potential interactions and side effects.
MrsDruidess 23
omg OP, PRUNES!
doodlecloud 27
Yup, but there's a bigger variety, so hopefully some of them will be okay? Plus if the constipation is merely a side effect rather than part of OPs condition/illness, hopefully the side effects of combating it shouldn't be too related either?
BoxFullOfLazy 25
Fiber is your friend.
dolly303 8
True eat lots of fibre it will help
jleach287 11
Chinese food and Mexican food work great as laxatives.
MikaykayUnicorn 36
This is very true. I sadly have experienced the same thing as you OP, except it wasn't medication that caused it, it was just that my body hated me. Lots of fiber daily. Prunes for months. Sucks, but it helps loads.
Kittyphysics 21
haha. loads.
Elban 20
Eat a whole box of Fiber One bars, it'll clean you right up
singafairytale 11
Too much fibre can cause constipation too though.
pxnk_rxck_bxtch 16
that sounds terrible, OP. have you tried talking to a doctor to see if you can try a different medication that won't give you these side effects?
cocainewhore 30
It's possible, but if it's pain medication such as codeine or something then sometimes there isn't much other choice, if there is only that medication that works well for managing OPs symptoms. Sorry for my poor English, it's my second language.
cadillacgal79 32
57-you speak better English than most Americans, no need to apologize.
KaidensCrow 18
your English is really good. American English is really difficult to learn because words have different meanings and it really doesn't make any sense as to why.. she's right, you speak English a lot better then some Americans, good job
0k3up 9
78- than*.. bit awkward but way to prove your point
Liyuesigs 8
English is hard? Try learn Chinese!
Noahray98 8
#109 supposedly American English is the hardest language to lean. Example: "Can you open the can?" Someone who isn't familiar with English would be so confused with that. And btw, I think you meant "Try to learn Chinese!"
cadillacgal79 32
113-another way to put it is "try learning Chinese." Course if that's grammatically incorrect than don't put it that way.
Liyuesigs 8
In Chinese, "Shi Shi Shi Shi Shi" = 事实是事实 is a legit sentence. Go figure.
WhosThatItsMe 8
#133: In English, so is Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
Liyuesigs 8
The Chinese sentence means facts are facts. What does your English sentence mean?
cocainewhore 30
@109 my first language is Welsh, so yes, English was very difficult to work, as a language it doesn't seem to make a lot of sense to me. Thank you for being so kind everyone, although one thing, I live in the UK not America haha.
oogedyboogedy 14
that's a shame, mate
FarmerGirl420 11
Wtf did I just read??
guther_unicorn 15
That sounds like a horrible situation :/
smackaroonial 20
I was hoping you would write "what a horrible shituation." But alas, it wasn't meant to be.
Noahray98 8
I was thinking more of "What a shitty situation"
_minifty 15
Too predictable #114
TMramrod 15
That's enough internet for today.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
For the year.
quarterbird 18
Doctors usually prescribe stool softeners (e.g. Colace) with meds that cause constipation... You should have a talk with your doctor.
graceinsheepwear 34
Psyllium helps. Even enemas would be better than that.