Today, my girlfriend informed me that our relationship is an open one. This was only after I was told that when she was "stuck in traffic" two days ago, she was actually playing the triple-X version of Twister in my "best friend's" bed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to play Twister. Her parents watched us the whole time, making sure we didn't touch. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has another girlfriend when she walked into his bedroom while we were having sex. I didn't drive there, so I'm now sitting in his car while they fight. It's been two hours since she got home. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mom and dad walked in on us while we were playing naked twister. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend had sex with three different guys in one day. All at a party. A party that I was at. FML
Today, my girlfriend text me and told me to do something sexy because she was going to FaceTime me. I eagerly dropped my pants and started stroking it to get ready for her. As soon as I opened her call, she was standing with my wife. I literally got caught with my dick in my hand. FML
Today, I was chatting with my girlfriend and I asked her to give me her phone to make a call since mine was dead. A text came in from someone and the name sounded familiar. My best friend has been dating my girlfriend longer than I have, and she gave him head. I kissed her earlier that day. FML
Today, driving home, my girlfriend and I decided we were finally going to have sex. We got in the backseat, then I opened my condom to find it was already broken. We ended up playing connect four instead. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that her mom doesn't give us any privacy when we're at their place. I suggested that we go to my place for a change, and she agreed. Her mom called my house three times to see what we were doing. We're well beyond teenagers. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went out with one of her guy friends. After two bars, we ended up back at her place and somehow the three of us ended up in bed. I was a Gold Star Lesbian and now I'm just a slutty bi girl. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't really take flute lessons after all. In related news, every time my best friend supposedly drives her to flute lessons, he's actually taking her to his house for a different kind of activity. FML
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Top comments
NessaMae 19
It seems so hard to find anyone faithful these days. People suck.
etoilenuit 15
Inform her that she is now single.
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Comments (60)
TheNewGuy03 29
Wow ... I thought people agreed on that sort of arrangement *before* being serious? Oh, and BOTH people have to agree to it. Not a great way to go about things; you'd be right to get rid of her.
WhimsicalMusings 11
Who are these people who call "Surprise! Open relationship!" when they're caught cheating? Is it a common thing? Do they honestly think the other person is going to buy it? "Yes honey, we're in an open relationship. You were meant to figure this out through your psychic powers, except I'm the only one allowed to sleep with other people. Especially people close to you. Also, I'm much more of an STD risk than you thought I was, having told you nothing about the above, so you might want to get checked." Sorry OP - she either thought you were that gullible, or she's an idiot. Either way, neither she or the "friend" are worth your time. Walk away.
BrotherPhil 35
I didn't know that dogs could play twister...
crazydave1998 6
why is it always with the friend??wtf??
Raging_hamster 5
I this point I believe it's perfectly justified for a guy to sucker punch a girl in the face. But that's just me.
VSVP_fml 6
These hoes ain't loyal
Chaith 16
Stuck in traffic? That's such a 'guy' kind of excuse. I find many women are usually smarter than that if they don't want you to find something out.
funturtle23 6
Cut that chickens head off.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Stuck in traffic sounds like a metaphor for a gangbang.
not_a_anonomous 9
Dump her