Today, driving home, my girlfriend and I decided we were finally going to have sex. We got in the backseat, then I opened my condom to find it was already broken. We ended up playing connect four instead. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex in his car. He got out of the car and moved to the passenger seat with me. As he shut the door, it slammed against my fingers, breaking one of them. He then asked if we could still have sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had the house to ourselves. We started getting a little frisky when we discovered we were out of condoms. After a quick run to the store, we found ourselves locked out of the house. Now we have condoms, but no way to use them. FML
Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have a quickie in the car. We had left a window open so it wasn't too hot, and I was holding onto the edge of the window, fingers hanging over. In the midst of it all, my boyfriend managed to close the window by hitting the button. My finger is broken. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a good time. Perfect. Afterwards, he stupidly tried to pull the condom off with way too much force. It burst everywhere, splattering our faces, the bed sheets, and even the wall. Absolute disaster. We just stared at each other and laughed. Never again. FML
Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11pm to her garage where we started to have sex. When she came to climax she slipped and hit her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down; we were both still naked, and she was unconscious. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML
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Top comments
littlegolferboy 4
So your first time together was going to be in the back of your car. That's so classy. You probably had a top hat and monocle on at the time, didn't you?
perdix 31
Connect Four? Is that where you do 69 and finger each other's assholes? That's four connections, right? A bit awkward and not to my liking, but a pretty fair alternative to screwing.
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Comments (93)
perdix 31
Connect Four? Is that where you do 69 and finger each other's assholes? That's four connections, right? A bit awkward and not to my liking, but a pretty fair alternative to screwing.
KRACR 0
Win :D
Lahir 0
lol why didn't he have sex and pull out?
TPxSTIFFY925 0
Go in RAW DOG!!!
innerexlet 0
I remember back when perdix was around, what happened to those people like cinn and redpillsucks?
ProgMetalMan 8
#64 - Because there are these shitty, often hidden things called sexually transmitted infections. Some people are smart enough to use contraception that actually works. Please never fornicate. Clearly you'll taint the gene pool.
flyboy57 0
and you couldn't go buy one? fail!
XoRoxybabe615Xo 0
dude that totally sucks next time before u leave to go out with her check it out to make sure it's okay or it's not expired. if that happened to me and my boyfriend it woukd just ruined everything.
benshady 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
you don't need a rubber, if ur girl gets pregnant just get an abortion
music_baby224 0
okayyyyyyy. that's dumb.
calebg23 0
yeah that makes sence... kill the baby? therefore making you a ******* murderer? woohoo prison!
limepinklis 0
yay!
Wazilla 0
Abortions cost more than a condom does. Not an equal pay off IMO.
UnicornPukePink 0
Not that I support abortion, but haveing one does not make you a murderer. You can only get one before the baby is actually even really a baby yet.
JinxosGirl87 0
Abortions can put the mother at risk of complications. It's not as easy as going to the ****** store and buying a god damn condom to begin with.
deltoramastr 12
Abortions are legal yes. However it is murder as by the time you find out your pregnant the child has already formed quite a bit usually thus you are murdering an innocent child. If you truely don't want the child give it up for adoption
el393way 0
couldn't you have found something to do that wasn't just all the way?
toaster468 0
yea like air ******' when you don't touch you just move like you are.... or shoot her with a water gun filled with salty milk and hold it near your crotch and itl be like you are accuallt cumming!!!!!
awesome_o 0
she has two other points of entry where rubbers are not completely necessary ;)
blland 0
no blojob!? cmon woman!!
wambamtysam 0
man, number one rule, always have a spare.
littlegolferboy 4
So your first time together was going to be in the back of your car. That's so classy. You probably had a top hat and monocle on at the time, didn't you?
toaster468 0
STFU i was born that way! :D JK
amateur_ninja 0
noob. stick it in her ass.
cowgod 0
the nose is just as effective
TJ10 0
lol