Today, I spent half an hour trying to convince my husband not to re-enact a video he saw online of a guy tying some rope to a running chainsaw, then swinging it around his head. He finally agreed not to do something so stupid. A few hours later, he did it anyway. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to take my husband to the hospital. He and his friends got the bright idea of recording a re-enactment of a scene from Fight Club for a YouTube video. It ended as soon as my husband caught a fist to the gut and started violently puking all over our basement floor. FML
Today, after my husband yelled at me for wasting money by getting my nails done, I decided to buy the supplies and watch YouTube to figure out how to do them myself. He then yelled at me for wasting money on the supplies. FML
Today, when I had a go at my husband for spending way too much time in front of the TV, he pointed the remote control at me while miming turning down the volume in order to make me shut up. FML
Today, my husband finally got round to cutting down a tree limb in our front yard after months of me begging him. It fell on me. FML
Today, my husband brought home a machete. In the process of showing me a trick he learned, he managed to slice a nice big hole in our brand new very expensive sectional. FML
Today, my husband and son had their first DIY project. Less than 30 minutes later, our son’s crying in his room. Turns out my husband is just like his dad. “WHY ARE YOU STANDING DOING NOTHING? PASS ME THE THING. NOT THAT THING, THE OTHER THING. HERE, I’LL DO IT MYSELF. PAY ATTENTION, GOD DAMMIT.” FML
Today, my husband told me he didn't want me to get power tools to build things, because he thinks a miter saw and a sanding orbiter are more dangerous than guns. FML
Today, I had to show my husband a video on how to brush your teeth. FML
Today, I climbed the tree in my backyard so I could cut off some stray branches. I ended up getting stuck, and instead of immediately getting help, my wife started laughing and recording me. The video is now circulating on Facebook, and my new nickname is "Hawkeye." FML
Today, as soon as I got home, my husband said he was hungry and that I needed to cook. I flipped my shit and yelled at him for a good half hour. Later, he pulled out his phone and showed me videos of me doing the exact thing to him, asking him to do things the second he walked in the door. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
taymichele16 15
So how much is the hospital bill?
tigerisabelle 31
Should have let Darwin take his course
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (70)
karacakal2 30
That sounds really dangerous.Is he alright?
BadApple88 29
I think I saw that on an episode of "1000 Ways to Die"
Doritozilla 20
Is OP a widow now
WittyMoron 22
That's a keeper right there OP.
Eyalsh 32
yeah, but he's obviously not a "stayer", if you get my drift..
taymichele16 15
So how much is the hospital bill?
mds9986 24
Funeral bill*
Seabass_Chan 33
Cause of Death: Decapitation and/or natural selection.
Liamj774 36
Men
tigerisabelle 31
Should have let Darwin take his course
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
But first take out a large life insurance policy.
domolovesyoshi 33
They don't cover acts of stupid
RedPillSucks 33
yes they do
geekpower_fml 28
It's funny because this sentence makes no sense.
luvlu444 24
well ya know what they say, in sickness and in health, in wisdom and stupidity. hope hes ok OP
UserError94 18
Anddddddd til death do us part... That's a big line in there I think
cole_tyler42 21
I like to say that we do stupid things in hopes of impressing women, but this is just dangerously stupid. How has he lived long enough to be married?
Anony2014 10
Don't know, but I'd say his wife will probably become a widow one day...
allykaymorris 24
'MERICA!
The_Avatar 22
Hahahaha idk why there's down votes I think it's a total MERICA moment
Lalala579121 28
Because stupidity is hardly an American thing. And FML doesn't enjoy stereotyping.
OhWhoCares 42
And not to mention the fact that this particular FML is from California. Californians are a whole new breed of stupid. Most Americans will likely be offended at the comparison...
One_Way 43
I'm American and I find comments like these hilarious. Some people are too uptight.
cole66 14
#69. I agree with you, we don't get offended at this
Dynamite73 25
Don't try to control men. We'll do whatever you tell us not to do anyway.
Tripartita 45
The gender distribution of American prisoners supports this. The ratio of male to female people who do whatever they want regardless of what they're told is 14:1. Shit just got real.
9a_1z 12
Maybe that just means women are better at getting away with it though!
limegreenpoopie 31
Is he okay? 0___0