Today, I spent half an hour trying to convince my husband not to re-enact a video he saw online of a guy tying some rope to a running chainsaw, then swinging it around his head. He finally agreed not to do something so stupid. A few hours later, he did it anyway. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to take my husband to the hospital. He and his friends got the bright idea of recording a re-enactment of a scene from Fight Club for a YouTube video. It ended as soon as my husband caught a fist to the gut and started violently puking all over our basement floor. FML
Today, after my husband yelled at me for wasting money by getting my nails done, I decided to buy the supplies and watch YouTube to figure out how to do them myself. He then yelled at me for wasting money on the supplies. FML
Today, when I had a go at my husband for spending way too much time in front of the TV, he pointed the remote control at me while miming turning down the volume in order to make me shut up. FML
Today, my husband finally got round to cutting down a tree limb in our front yard after months of me begging him. It fell on me. FML
Today, my husband brought home a machete. In the process of showing me a trick he learned, he managed to slice a nice big hole in our brand new very expensive sectional. FML
Today, my husband and son had their first DIY project. Less than 30 minutes later, our son’s crying in his room. Turns out my husband is just like his dad. “WHY ARE YOU STANDING DOING NOTHING? PASS ME THE THING. NOT THAT THING, THE OTHER THING. HERE, I’LL DO IT MYSELF. PAY ATTENTION, GOD DAMMIT.” FML
Today, my husband told me he didn't want me to get power tools to build things, because he thinks a miter saw and a sanding orbiter are more dangerous than guns. FML
Today, I had to show my husband a video on how to brush your teeth. FML
Today, I climbed the tree in my backyard so I could cut off some stray branches. I ended up getting stuck, and instead of immediately getting help, my wife started laughing and recording me. The video is now circulating on Facebook, and my new nickname is "Hawkeye." FML
Today, as soon as I got home, my husband said he was hungry and that I needed to cook. I flipped my shit and yelled at him for a good half hour. Later, he pulled out his phone and showed me videos of me doing the exact thing to him, asking him to do things the second he walked in the door. FML
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Top comments
taymichele16 15
So how much is the hospital bill?
tigerisabelle 31
Should have let Darwin take his course
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Comments (70)
TeacherTeacher 11
I hope you have a good life insurance policy on him.
nzhx 23
Life insurance?
LegolasPrincess 10
He's the reason why the government puts warning labels on shit.
CosmicElk 26
Hes a keeper! Or whats left of him is!
Richard6036 13
Some people never learn even after they get hurt! By any chance is your husband a dumb redneck, if so don't let him see the lawn mower one !
doodlebug33 20
They're not our husbands. They're our kids
writerchic85 26
What's the point of even doing that?
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Practicing to be the next El-jefe I guess. Whatever part gets chopped off is where you attach the chainsaw.
bstarqueen 16
Hope it's not his dick.
MonstreBelle 29
56- Humanity would be better off if it was. There is enough stupidity in the gene pool already
SecundusSecunda 27
Hahahah freaking legend Childish and reckless as hell, but legendary anyway xD
MariaGiovanni 25
well this could've been a way worse FML. At least he's alive but FYI for having a dumbass husband.
weak_boy 13
link?