Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML
Today, My girlfriend and I were watching tv when suddenly one of our phones start going off. We both have the same phone and they were next to each other. She picks up the phone and reads the text message, "I wish you were here! I'd fuck you silly" She gets pissed and runs out. It was her phone. FML
Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML
Today, while I was waiting for the train, a woman sat next to me. Her dog jumped up between us and I started petting it. She took this to mean we were now close enough for her to tell me in detail about her experience so far going through the menopause. FML
Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of, "Whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back." Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML
Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML
Today, I had a date with a woman. She brought her dog along. Everytime I touched her, her jealous male dog began to bark and tried to bite me. FML
Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML
Today, after my boyfriend told me I didn’t have to worry about the ex who kept commenting on his pictures, I saw him sexting her when I leaned forward to tell him something from the back of our friend's car. FML
Today, my dog carried on with his recent habit of trying to hump me. When I told my mom, she just joked that he's my new boyfriend. Now my whole family is just calling him my boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
Zestus 19
You should've gone along with it to freak her out even more for laughs. Like wink at her or something.
Firuzzy 10
People don't know when to mind their own business anymore.
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Comments (127)
Keevarou 17
Ohwell, I would love to see her shocked face, and your boyfriend sure knows how to entertain himself, it could have been worse. She could have called the cops or something. You never know how much people overreact
bReLiNg 18
Yes! People should just mind their own business-ALWAYS.
Keevarou 17
18, depends if they are close to the person or not, so not always, that may be me being nosy about how my "friends" are doing though
dead247 13
Yeah, I'll just mind my own business when I see a little kid get kidnapped in front of the parents.
charvisioku 22
28: Pretty sure that's not what they meant. I took it as a reference to things like texts and conversations rather than outright kidnappings...
BexBaby86 21
Ya, I totally agree. She shouldn't have been reading your personal stuff. Nosey ass woman. Good one to your boyfriend for getting her going. I woulda done the same. And, her freaking out? Would have just said "What were you thinking you dirty minded woman? We were taking the dog on a trip. Nice to know where your head is at. Do you enjoy the dog humping?" Smiled sweetly and put headphones on. :)
Crazynopantsman 11
Pretty clever of your boyfriend. I doubt the woman still wants to read more about your very interesting sex life
Nicholi124 10
I can't stand nosey people
Zen_Mei 17
Hahaha genius!! Well played ma'am
Cysioland 8
She called you a bitch, if you know, what I mean -_-
sugarshane007 20
Your comment is a bitch, if you know what I mean.
fuzz97 23
No, I don't know, what you mean. -_-
nickob96 25
I was thinking the exact same thing ...
sugarshane007 20
I don't even have anything sarcastic to say this time. Your boyfriend is clearly awesome, and deserves praise for his actions. And hey, should have told her "It takes a twisted dog-humping bitch to know a twisted dog-humping bitch!"
Pixiemels 19
Your boyfriend is epic! That was very smart and extremely hilarious! I like that guy, even if i dont know him!!!!
ladyLALAA 29
I was half a virgin when I met him!