Today, my dog carried on with his recent habit of trying to hump me. When I told my mom, she just joked that he's my new boyfriend. Now my whole family is just calling him my boyfriend. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, for the third time, my boyfriend called his dog by my name. FML
Today, I found out that me having a boyfriend is an on-going family joke. FML
Today, my boyfriend leaned over and sniffed me like a dog. He does this almost every day, even in front of people sometimes. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend's dog is more excited to see me than he is. FML
Today, I invited my boyfriend over to meet my new puppy. My dog decided to take a dump on his lap. He is now not talking to me because he thinks I trained my dog to do that. FML
Today, my dog celebrated my coming home by slapping me in the junk repeatedly with his tail. FML
Today, my mother called me at work, freaking out about my dog, so I panicked. What was wrong? He had a hard-on and she'd never seen that happen before. FML
Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my dog, hoping they’d get along. I told my boyfriend, “Don’t worry, he never jumps on anyone.” Immediately, my dog jumped, not onto my boyfriend but right into my lap, knocking my glass of red wine all over my trousers. My boyfriend patted the dog and said, “At least someone’s happy to see you.” FML
Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. After a short pause I hear him say "I love you." Smiling I say, "I love you too." Then he says, "I was talking to my dog." FML
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Top comments
Yudith 28
Victoria Stillwell has good trick about how to deal with humping in "It's me or the dog", but it works better if you have your boyfriend neutered.
GoogieWithers 25
Time for a vet visit✂️✂️
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Comments (3)
Yudith 28
Victoria Stillwell has good trick about how to deal with humping in "It's me or the dog", but it works better if you have your boyfriend neutered.
Lost Reggie 22
and the dog
GoogieWithers 25
Time for a vet visit✂️✂️
Wadlaen 24
Congratulations!💕