Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML
Today, My girlfriend and I were watching tv when suddenly one of our phones start going off. We both have the same phone and they were next to each other. She picks up the phone and reads the text message, "I wish you were here! I'd fuck you silly" She gets pissed and runs out. It was her phone. FML
Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML
Today, while I was waiting for the train, a woman sat next to me. Her dog jumped up between us and I started petting it. She took this to mean we were now close enough for her to tell me in detail about her experience so far going through the menopause. FML
Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of, "Whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back." Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML
Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML
Today, I had a date with a woman. She brought her dog along. Everytime I touched her, her jealous male dog began to bark and tried to bite me. FML
Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML
Today, after my boyfriend told me I didn’t have to worry about the ex who kept commenting on his pictures, I saw him sexting her when I leaned forward to tell him something from the back of our friend's car. FML
Today, my dog carried on with his recent habit of trying to hump me. When I told my mom, she just joked that he's my new boyfriend. Now my whole family is just calling him my boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
Zestus 19
You should've gone along with it to freak her out even more for laughs. Like wink at her or something.
Firuzzy 10
People don't know when to mind their own business anymore.
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Comments (127)
Ryodin 11
Moments like that... that just confirm "bitch was reading my texts" make me wish you could just punch people who were being outright assholes. I'm sorry for your humiliation but I love your husband's joke on the nosey bitch. I hope it was just as humiliating for her to realize he was screwing with her.
Likian5 26
What I don't understand is why you would allow some random stranger to read your texts to your boyfriend on the train...
WeskersSexslave 15
lmao that's a text to see ifnshe would react? nice!
cb1002630 11
That woman had no right sticking her nose in your, your boyfriend's, and your dog's business.
spilledthesalt 2
haha that woman is dirty minded. first thing I thought of was going to the park.
Roskosity 22
I am a virgin. :) We do exist!
amberraley 6
nothing worse than people reading messages that aren't for them. I had a girl in my asl class reading msg's between me and the hottest guy in class. he noticed and sent a msg saying "how bout we get that sexy ass of yours out in my car and we go back to my place to have sex with my parents again" she was giving us funny looks for the rest of the quarter
oinkmoosquid 5
I would have punched her!
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Sick but funny!
xeka 10
He's a keeperx