Smoking is so cool
Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML
Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML
Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML
Today, we were having a little bonfire. At some point, while I was inside, my stupid roommate filled a beer can with lighter fluid and threw it in the fire, resulting in it spewing 5-foot flames, catching the pile of wood and the chair next to it on fire. FML
Today, I was cold and alone at work, so I decided to try and warm myself up on the panini toaster. As I was holding the top side open and my other hand over the hot metal, I accidentally closed the door on my hand. FML
Today, I was applying Icy Hot. I squeezed the bottle too hard making it squirt in my eye. I ran to the bathroom in agony, turned on the faucet, and slammed my face right into it. FML
Today, I accidentally threw a glass of iced tea in my own face, because the restaurant I'd been going to for over a decade switched from heavy glass mugs to identical light-as-a-feather plastic mugs. FML
Today, I woke up to my apartment filled with smoke, fire alarms blaring. My roommate set my kitchen on fire while making hot dogs. This is the fourth time this has happened. FML
Today, I returned to my apartment to find everything reduced to ashes, hidden in black clouds of smoke. Turns out there was a blackout, and my fiancé lit a candle on top of a stack of all our wedding papers. When he smelled the smoke, he got hungry for a taco and left instead of calling 911. FML
Today, I was fired for having a haircut that was 'inappropriate for the workplace'. I have alopecia. My boss told me to stop making up excuses. FML
Today, while I was eating spicy wings, I suddenly sneezed. I was sitting in front of a fan and effectively maced myself when my spicy sneeze blew back into my face and eyes. FML
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Top comments
fmylifedam 0
don't smoke then
xxxInsanexxx 9
Burn! Get it? Yes? No, bad pun? Sorry.
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Comments (152)
nonymous1998 0
If you're stupid enough to smoke then, OP, you deserve to have that happen every time you light a cigarette. Maybe it'll teach you a lesson on how not to ruin your life, dumbass.
ugliness 6
don't preach on how others treat their bodies, just be grateful it's not your body being damaged
kewlstoribro 6
Last time I checked, second-hand smoking was equally or more damaging then first-hand smoking dumbass. So when smokers smoke, they will damage other people's bodies and they have no say for it.
goodnesspeople 1
While second hand smoke may be bad for you, if you really cared what you were ingesting, I would try to stay away from all running cars! The exhaust they spew out is not only worse for you than second hand smoke, it's also a lot worse for the government. Don't believe me? I have a wonderful test for you to try out: stand in a garage with the doors down. Now see which will kill you first, another smoker or a running car. Then stop bitching about how bad second hand smoke is for someone, if you don't like the smell, stay the **** away from a smoker. OP. I've done it before too, but ended up burning my hair..
goodnesspeople 1
And how could second hand smoke be MORE damaging the first hand?? That is ridiculous! Whoever is telling you these things is spewing propaganda.. first hand smoke is damaging, but second hand has to be extreme for anything to any health effects to appear. I'm talking living with smokers who smoke inside and being constantly around it. So I would re-check your data:)
DarthVader007 0
.. Now you ****** up !
LaidToRest48 9
216 duh.. first hand smoking is filtered by the cigarette however the second hand just flies around freely without being filtered, secondhand smoke is really worst... maybe you should recheck your datas..
xkatiebugger10x 4
216- You should check your data. First of all, propaganda is using props to advertise something. In this case, you can't "spew propaganda." Second of all, secondhand smoking may not be as bad as he said, but it is still very harmful. Adults may be able to avoid it by staying away from smokers, but what about kids? If parents smoke, their kids can't get away from it. P.S. I am fourteen. I don't know how old you are, but if I know this, you probably should, too.
goodnesspeople 1
kid, I said it was harmful but not nearly as bad as he was saying. First hand smoke is worse for you because it is more concentrated and going directly into your lungs. So 251, yes it does "freely" fly around, therefore becoming even less concentrated and less harmful. Thus 257, it is propaganda that he's saying that non-smokers love to share, to guilt smokers about their habits that generally (not always) really only harm themselves. Yes in your example that is true, but a lot of smokers don't smoke in front of those that are offended by it or do not want it around them. Sometimes a non-smoker will walk by one who is smoking and will get a nice little draft of smoke, but not nearly as harmful as that person was saying. I'm just so tired of people being so rude and obnoxious towards those people who do smoke, and like I said, trying to play a victim by saying things that aren't exactly true (thus spewing propaganda).
edteach 0
lol ydi for panicking, I'm not gonna be all judge-y and pompous about smokeing that's your choice but panicking... bad form man your gonna kill yourself or others like that one day
doom2 8
smoking= turn off. no but seriously. is that how your first reaction always has been?
notbanned69 0
Stupid smokers
edteach 0
you srsly made me lol tho...
ugliness 6
stupid people who generalise other groups of people...... crap, I just insulted myself x_X
HeavyMetalViking 0
So they finally proved that having tar in your lungs actually makes you reTARded.
ugliness 6
clever pun is clever :3
Moota 9
I see what you did there, and i approve.
edteach 0
I see what you did there....
iLazy 0
Stop drop and lol
CitrusGirl 0
I thought tobacco damaged your lungs, not your brain. OP proved me wrong.
koolbop56 0
.....Really? You didn't know that all of the chemicals in cigarettes would cause damage to your brain? It's sort of common sense.
CitrusGirl 0
Joke. Look it up.
fadingaway 17
That's what you get for smoking.