Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML
Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML
Today, we were having a little bonfire. At some point, while I was inside, my stupid roommate filled a beer can with lighter fluid and threw it in the fire, resulting in it spewing 5-foot flames, catching the pile of wood and the chair next to it on fire. FML
Today, I was cold and alone at work, so I decided to try and warm myself up on the panini toaster. As I was holding the top side open and my other hand over the hot metal, I accidentally closed the door on my hand. FML
Today, I was applying Icy Hot. I squeezed the bottle too hard making it squirt in my eye. I ran to the bathroom in agony, turned on the faucet, and slammed my face right into it. FML
Today, I accidentally threw a glass of iced tea in my own face, because the restaurant I'd been going to for over a decade switched from heavy glass mugs to identical light-as-a-feather plastic mugs. FML
Today, I woke up to my apartment filled with smoke, fire alarms blaring. My roommate set my kitchen on fire while making hot dogs. This is the fourth time this has happened. FML
Today, I returned to my apartment to find everything reduced to ashes, hidden in black clouds of smoke. Turns out there was a blackout, and my fiancé lit a candle on top of a stack of all our wedding papers. When he smelled the smoke, he got hungry for a taco and left instead of calling 911. FML
Today, I was fired for having a haircut that was 'inappropriate for the workplace'. I have alopecia. My boss told me to stop making up excuses. FML
Today, while I was eating spicy wings, I suddenly sneezed. I was sitting in front of a fan and effectively maced myself when my spicy sneeze blew back into my face and eyes. FML
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Top comments
fmylifedam 0
don't smoke then
xxxInsanexxx 9
Burn! Get it? Yes? No, bad pun? Sorry.
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Comments (152)
wickedlyevil96 0
u shouldnt even be smoking. ur gonna die tomorrow. karma's a bitch but it gives people like u what they deserve. i bet ur 30 and already have wrinkles. i wish u had burned. not like u need me to do that. ur already doing it to urself. slowly. let's see, u can't do sports so ur probably obese, u look 20 yrs older than u really are and u smell like shit. just stop smoking and get a life. oh wait u cant. ur too late. ur gonna die tomorrow.
Loaffer 2
see smoking hurts XP or just go bald now, this will help 2 times 1 it won't catch on fire again and 2 it won't look as patchy when you start kehmo
xkatiebugger10x 4
Don't joke about chemo. I just lost my grandma. She had lung cancer. She never smoked.
EnragedTaco 0
ok so heres what i gotta say about this FML 1- guys we get it you think this person deserves it for smoking. thats there choice they know there killing themselves. there own life choices. 2- please stop repeating the same thing as everyone else. 3- maybe you should switch conditioner 4- haha. i giggled
TurtleBoy2015 2
Haha. The same thing happened to my friend yesterday, after we put it out he had to get a haircut.
iscahnoemie 3
don't worry I was high one day and burnt all my nose hair lighting a cigg
laurahill548 0
deserved it for smoking
radshnarbee 0
That's why u don't smoke air polluter
jbcrazy 6
see that's what u get for smoking, it's obvioulsy a sign that u should quit
cadreychasd 6
didn't the government warn you that smoking is dangerous?
sephoraprincess 7
ydi for smoking ;l