Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a man on the subway serenaded me. That's not the issue. He was cross-eyed, making it hard for me not to laugh in his face. FML
Today, I was on a crowded el train listening to my iPod touch. As I stepped off the train, my headphones got caught on a man's jacket and my iPod fell on the floor. The doors shut. I then watched the train pull away. With my iPod on it. FML
Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML
Today, while watching a movie on my iPad, a really cute girl sat next to me. Suddenly, everyone on the bus started clapping. I started to clap very loudly as well, asking the girl why we were clapping. She gave me a strange look. I then realized the applause was coming from my headphones. FML
Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML
Today, I was sitting on the train when some crazy man started talking to me. I ignored him, and he tapped on my shoulder. He started blabbing and I just pointed to my ears and mouthed, "I'm deaf." He stopped talking. A minute later my phone rang and I answered it without thinking. FML
Today, I was on the train when I fell asleep. Everything would have been fine but I was suddenly jerked awake by the very loud sound of my own fart, followed by the stares of many strangers. FML
Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML
Today, I had my earbuds in while walking to work. I was so into a particular song that I didn't notice I was singing out loud despite people being around. A random jogger gave me a thumbs-up and said, "Shit voice, wrong lyrics." FML
Today, I took the subway. The man sitting across from me would not stop staring at my breasts, so when the train came to my stop, I said, "Nothing to see now, asshole." Then I noticed his white walking stick as he got up to get off. He was blind. FML
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Top comments
GrooveSponge 0
:D that's so unfortunate...I hope he didn't kick you in the taco.
Doortje 30
At least you enjoyed it for a short while.
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Comments (109)
cooLING 0
Wasn't there at least anyone cracking up around you? I totally would have. I know it's a tad unknowingly insensitive on your part but that little person needs to lighten up. Everyone should be able to laugh at themselves or the situation once in a while.
Cookiegirl222 0
Yeah but what if the dude was always teased about being short. Plus this couldve been just another event in his horrible day.
cooLING 0
So? Everybody has problems or crappy days. Just because he has a hormonal/genetic problem doesn't make him special. Yes, the little person's life is probably more difficult but being negative about isn't going to help him either. People tend to respect a person more when s/he looks straight ahead and brushes off the dirt off his/her shoulder than constantly making a big deal about things.
cash_monkey72 9
They have that on iTunes?!?
thehouseaddict 3
This is so badass.
lorahayes 4
hahaha i didnt think so!
downtime 13
Too many people are acting like its absurd that someone would have a song that they personally wouldn't. You idiots probably listen to T Pain and Justin Bieber, so I'm pretty sure theres worse than the Oompa Loompa song.
Dracoboxer357 36
I actually find myself agreeing with you. I listen to a bit of everything, and really, if no one listened to it (which is Not a reason to base whether you like a song or not), it wouldn't be available anyways. Willy Wonka was big in it's time, little surprise some people are nostalgic for that movie/song. Just saying...
lorahayes 4
thankyou!! i dont know why i have the song. its not like its something i regularly listen to, i probably put it on there to play at parties for a joke or something. i'd rather have this on my ipod than a lot of other artists!
Snafuusmc 12
Lmao I can't say if people are short or average. I'm a 6'5 guy and I don't know what short is anymore....
megotswag 0
He must have been mean mugging you hard!
Chad_the_Brony 0
To be politically correct, they are actually dwarves.
n3rdzgotskillz 29
I laughed so much when I read this, aw OP, I feel so bad for you :')
SadTales 2
Manly tears were cried that day.
taty7659 4
Hahahhaaaaa wow how great