Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 2 year-old son decided to pee on the dog for the second day in a row. I'm afraid this will turn into a routine thing. FML
Today, I was with my 3 year-old son in the doctor's office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML
Today, I got a new babysitting job. Every time the little girl goes to the bathroom, she screams and cries until I wipe her. She's 7 years old. FML
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
Today, my 5-year-old son made a drawing of our living room, with the addition of an apparition, and the text, "I can see you. Daddy doesn't see you. Who are you?" FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's one year old. FML
Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML
Today, I horribly lost a game of basketball against my dad. It wouldn't have been so humiliating if he hadn't been piss drunk at the time. FML
Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML
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Top comments
kicker33663 0
that's cause your 3 year old has 2 inches to aim versus however much distance your husband has to aim
xGabri3L 3
I'm on the toilet.
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Comments (152)
j_cat187 20
scope mount on ur penis helps
Captain_Obvious2_fml 6
i got a mossberg 700X700 it works wonders
skyeyez9 25
Men would suddenly have better aim if they were the ones to clean up the piss stains.
TH3SiiL3NC3R 0
Well think about it? your husband is like a freaking giant compared to your son who is probably like 2 inches??? you wouldn't understand your a girl(:
kportal69 5
tell him to sit while peeing. then he'll never miss.
rainbow_eyes84 0
Women aren't upset that men miss the bowl. They are upset that men don't clean up their oopsies.
Keenan31 0
Now that's not a fair assessment. Your husband is clearly much higher up where as your son is far closer making seat splatter nearly impossible for the little guy.
cradle6 13
Octopus Packer
fjretsel 1
No matter how young we are, we always know how to use our tool. It comes naturally. As for the father, he just can't be bothered anymore. You are doing the cleaning up anyway, Maria. hahaha.
skyeyez9 25
It is plain nasty to leave piss sprinkled all over the seat, side of the bowl, pubes all over the place. If a guy used a bathroom after a girl and found the seat covered in pee and stray pubes, you would be disgusted. Clean up after yourselves. Especially if you share the house with others. Common decency.
killakiwi 1
If he wanted to clean up after himself why get married in the first place?
rainport 0
but hes closer to the toilet then u are
Schiffy 18
The FML was written by the mother.