Today, I got my retainer fitted. It stimulates my gag reflex so badly that I gag every time I try so say anything with a 'P' in it. My orthodontist laughed and suggested I get a thesaurus. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at the orthodontist, the nurse was checking my teeth. She asked me a question while her finger was in my mouth, and when I stupidly tried to reply, I bit her finger. FML
Today, my orthodontist thought it would be a good idea to put braces on the teeth in the very back. One bracket popped off twice, after which he shoved a metal band in my mouth onto one of my teeth, cutting my gums, and causing gushing blood. Now, I can’t eat anything unless it’s baby food and I have a lisp. FML
Today, I got my braces off. I also got my tongue pierced. Both by my orthodontist. FML
Today, I went to the orthodontist to have my braces worked on. I accidentally swallowed some of the cleaning solution she used. She told me it would probably give me an upset stomach. Apparently, an upset stomach and crapping your pants means the same thing to an orthodontist. FML
Today, at the dentist, the new, rather airy assistant went to prep me for an extraction. She began pulling on something in my mouth, and a moment later, I felt intense pain and then the wetness of blood. She was trying to pull out "that weird wire thing". In other words, my permanent retainer. FML
Today, I went to see my orthodontist. He informed me that I have an underbite and I will probably need braces again. I just had them taken off last year, after five and a half years of oral hell. FML
Today, at the dentist, I was trying to make myself comfortable while he did his thing to my teeth. While my mouth was full of tools, he asked, “So how’s your day going so far?” My reply came out as, “Mrrgh purr blobby noff nay blobby blobby.” The dentist laughed and said, “I was kidding, you’re not supposed to talk right now.” FML
Today, I went to the orthodontist. No biggie, of course. I know the drill, so I didn’t think twice before letting the doctor stick his gloved hands into my mouth. His warm, wet, gloved hands. What the fuck??? FML
Today, I got my lip pierced. By the orthodontist. FML
Today, I had a dentist appointment in which a nurse numbed my mouth. After coming home, I took a nap in which I unknowing bit through my top lip. I physically can't speak. FML
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Top comments
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Preposterous!
whirlednews 8
Why is it always the P that stimulates gag reflexes?
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Comments (106)
TheNelson127 2
What an asshole. Sorry OP. Is there another word for OP?
NothernNightmare 18
The orthodontist isn't even that bad. He's trying to lighten the situation with a little humor. OP needs the retainer and the orthodontist can't control OP's gag reflex.
DustyStorm 16
Actually they can remove more of the palette acrylic, so that it's not hitting the soft palette (which is what produces gags). As a certified removable retainer fabricator I've dealt with a lot of patients with sensitive gag reflexes. It's a simple fix that they shouldn't charge to do.
nava1210 12
1 - Thread starter
PenguinBitch 44
Another word for OP is: FML's Author. Are you satisfied with my answer #1? Glad I can help.
v1kt4r 13
But that's 2 words... o.o
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Preposterous!
AwkwardPartyBear 24
Any practitioner who purposely proposes such preposturous things to their pain-filled patients should be pitifully punished.
gc327072 31
Yea, I'd be p- *ungh*... I mean I would be rather angry.
ThePsyche 9
And personally, I feel rather proud to live in such a populous country full of pitifully punctual people that permeate the comments with such profanity.
Feared 9
Peter piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.
NothernNightmare 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well if just saying P is bad, make sure you don't suck on a P!
ICastillo 25
A papaya...
mikeymayhem_87 15
Pickle?
Catkam623 27
Platypus?
lolfood 24
Poop stain?
jaystreet46 4
Pariah?
dandaman1457 7
Piranha?
GwylaFelidae 7
Poodle?
cgchamp89 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You idiots! #3 meant Penis! ;)
yankfan89 27
67- Everybody understood that. They were all making a joke.
docscientist 10
68, so was 67, who made it obvious.
Raelthelamb 31
a pineapple!
PenguinBitch 44
Princess Peach? That'll be p.p. then. Don't suck on a p.p.
AwkwardPartyBear 24
Pinata?
cgchamp89 7
68, Derp.
Vidrill 22
I don't think retainers are supposed to cause you this much discomfort.... Maybe get a second opinion? There are so many nice words with a "p"!
xblair 11
Like pizza. Everybody loves pizza.
mangoboy1 19
Considering how often I use the word penis this would be a problem for me
MelTheGreat 23
Or pickle!
Sputnikspak 13
You get used to it after a while. I've had three retainers and a palate widener from ages 6-18, and every one triggered a gag reflex at first, it really sucks (I'd just randomly gag), but after about a week, it settles in.
babeababe 16
Such as "pussy"
Carmstro 13
* don't say penis, don't say penis, don't say penis...* LIKE PENIS!
whirlednews 8
Why is it always the P that stimulates gag reflexes?
perdix 31
A big P does, but not a little p. Just imagine each word spelled in lower-case and you'll be fine. What did you think I was talking about?
Pleonasm 36
Peanuts. I can't stand the smell or taste of them, they make me wanna gag.
perdix 31
#19, you mean Charlie Brown and Lucy and Linus? You might just be allergic to Snoopy's dander or Pig Pen's dust. Wah wah wah WAH wah wah wah.
Shrouds 14
who wants to hold the football for me? and no yanking it!
guitarbeast 22
I thought it was the D that normally stimulates the gag reflexes
flockz 20
i have a feeling this entire thred is talking about weiners.
RedPillSucks 33
Pleonasm gags on penis, ..., I mean peanuts. They kind of sound the same.
AkatsukiJonny 10
I thought it was the D that made them, not the p
BinaryGuy 22
Ok so make sure that you don't say "Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Pickled Peppers" or else you might die...
EnterSandman_fml 20
Proper prior preparation prevents perpetual puking.
obviousboy 8
Tell him to puck off.
Coop817 19
You'll get used to it eventually. Unless you wanna just trim the part that causes you to gag
Quinn32 16
That sounds really painful. Maybe you could just trim the retainer instead.
andyyroxx 20
93- I'm sorry, you either trolled me so hard it clipped my head as it went by, but I'm sure he meant the retainer (:
Quinn32 16
I knew what he meant but when I first read it I was also thinking about cutting off the part of your mouth that makes you gag (maybe I'm just a freak that way) so I decided to make a joke out of it.
titibug823 11
I'd say get a second opinion. Retainers aren't supposed to cause much discomfort.
somecoolperson1 2
Hope you don't need to say the word hippopotamus