Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 2 year-old son decided to pee on the dog for the second day in a row. I'm afraid this will turn into a routine thing. FML
Today, I was with my 3 year-old son in the doctor's office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML
Today, I got a new babysitting job. Every time the little girl goes to the bathroom, she screams and cries until I wipe her. She's 7 years old. FML
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
Today, my 5-year-old son made a drawing of our living room, with the addition of an apparition, and the text, "I can see you. Daddy doesn't see you. Who are you?" FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's one year old. FML
Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML
Today, I horribly lost a game of basketball against my dad. It wouldn't have been so humiliating if he hadn't been piss drunk at the time. FML
Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
kicker33663 0
that's cause your 3 year old has 2 inches to aim versus however much distance your husband has to aim
xGabri3L 3
I'm on the toilet.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (152)
indistructo 3
get a new husband but keep the kid
sadddfaceee 1
Dear guys, if you can not aim well enough to hit the water then sit down like the women you are!!! Thanks :-)
missmaryb 0
It's called splash. When you pee from 2 feet or more above the water, it's going to splash. Not to mention it's a more forceful stream. It's only common sense.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
That still doesn't explain why he wouldn't clean it up, he caused the mess so it should be cleaned up before the wife even goes into the bathroom.
sadddfaceee 1
I would agree if you were peeing onto a plate, but its a bowl with steep sides! C'mon
TabzTheLoserKidd 4
you must be so proud!
LK212 0
haha lol
michaelm1290 23
buy him a urinal for the bathroom
Hillbilly_Deluxe 3
probably has something to do with him being closer to the bowl...
TheFuckerofShit 16
You should buy a sniper scope for him so he doesn't miss.
krisztian_fml 7
obviously its easier for a 3 foot tall kid to make it into the toilet than for a fully grown man whose dick hangs a lot farther from it