Today, I farted so loudly in bed and I woke up my husband. Startled, he thought that someone was entered in our room and fired a shot. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I farted so loudly in my sleep that it woke myself, my husband, and our cat. The cat let me know he was startled by clawing and biting the perceived threat, my bum. FML
Today, my husband fell asleep on my shoulder. He then ripped a nasty fart. I exhaled slowly but apparently loud enough that it woke up my husband who promptly screamed directly in my ear, before screaming a second time when he smelled the fart as well. The worst part is that also he scared my cat off my lap. FML
Today, I farted in bed like my parents do. It sounded like an unexpected trumpet. Luckily no one was nearby. I usually don't fart. It took me by surprise. FML
Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML
Today, my insomnia got so bad that I became convinced my husband was having an affair in our bed right next to me. I punched him so hard in the shoulder that he awoke from a sound sleep, farted, and then shook it off and went back to sleep unfazed. I'm so jealous. FML
Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML
Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML
Today, I farted so loud that I woke myself up. And the stranger sitting next to me on the airplane. FML
Today, while laying in bed, I let out a huge fart. I then heard my roommate yell from outside my room, "Did you think you were alone?" FML
Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML
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Top comments
Mark James Lewis 3
If he got up and literally fired a gun then you need to take it away from him. To shoot blindly even after being awoken is reckless and will get someone innocent injured or killed
Sertorius 10
I'd believe it if you were in the US or some similar sort of violent dangerous country. But you're in the UK and keep a loaded gun in your bedroom? Are you ******* crazy? Unless "fired a shot" is a euphemism.
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Comments (24)
Talented73 54
Depends which "gun" he fired that "shot" from....
ncparry 18
Well unless it was a shotgun that was illegal. You can’t own handguns. Most police don’t even carry. So you farted and your husband did something illegal because you farted?
Silverion Sairee 14
Looking at other comments some people figured that the husband didn't fire a gun but thought an intruder fired a gun. He mistook the sound of the fart for a gunshot.
bluejasmine 15
And this is why you should not have guns
Silverion Sairee 14
reading the comments, i see that some people came to the conclusion that the husband didn't fire a gun but thought the fart was a gunshot and that there was an intruder. i'm hoping that's the case and that he didn't just blindly shoot off a gun. cause then i'd hope they never have kids, cause kids will eventually startle you awake when they have a nightmare or they need something like a glass of water.