Today, I laughed when I saw my ex-girlfriend in her overall uniform, thinking she'd got a job as a janitor. Turns out she's as professional marine welder. She's 22 years old and earns my monthly salary in three days. My current girlfriend who was there with me called me a loser in front of her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend got engaged to a coworker. I got her the job. FML
Today, I was working my shift and my ex girlfriend came in to apply for a job. She broke up with me for another guy so i can't stand being in the same room as her. The manager talked to her and decided to hire her on the spot. I need to train her. FML
Today, I met the girl who dumped me because the distance between us was too great. We're in the same city again. She's now dating a Marine in Iraq. FML
Today, I lost my job to a girl that graduated with the same bachelor's degree from the same college as me. She also got a master's in an unrelated field. I've been working there 7 months, and her master's in maths apparently makes her a better athletic trainer than me. FML
Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from high school at the exact pizza shop we met at where I worked in high school. She broke it off with me after she caught me cheating with her best friend. These days, she's a lawyer who makes six figures a year. I still work at the same pizza shop. FML
Today, I saw my ex, who had dumped me for not being “ambitious” enough. I'd said she was just a gold digger and would die alone. She looked amazing at the fanciest, most expensive restaurant in town, and was celebrating being made partner at her law firm. I was bussing tables. FML
Today, my girlfriend who trained me at the job we both work at received a promotion, which left a spot for advancement. I was chosen for the position, and now the guy she's been cheating on me with is training me. Congrats. FML
Today, the girl my ex-boyfriend cheated on me with had a job interview at my place of work. If she gets the job, she'll be my manager. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend, who cheated on me a year ago, goes on vacations every month with a new guy, who she doesn’t mind hooking up with other girls, sometimes they even do it together. I work at a minimum wage job and when I was with her, she was one of the most possessive people I knew. FML
Today, my fiancée broke up with me because I "don't know what I'm doing with my future". I've done four years in the Marines and am in the process of becoming an officer. She has a film degree which she has no interest in, works at the mall, and just moved back in with her dad. FML
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Top comments
dudeitsdanny 10
So, what's your amazing job that entitles you to belittle janitors? No wonder your girlfriend called you a loser: Your ex has nore balls than you. Grow a pair, and stop acting like a little boy.
SteelCladAngel 0
LOL asshole you completely deserved that....now image how much worse your life would suck if your current gf left you for your ex gf :)
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Comments (179)
SimpleDreams 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
that sucks!
ColdplaySucks 18
that's what happens. either you make a shitty pay or she makes a good one.
Ahkoifish 0
"She gets what you get, in two days."
ximeldax 0
#9 my sister just graduated from fifth grade AND she has special needs. so you can stfu.
Uneedanapbro 6
Hahah well you did a real jerk move and she kinda took your man hood. So how does that feel?
MyPupRox 2
#19 sorry but i dont really see how that applies to what 9 said..?
dolphincheddar 10
18. chris brown is gay. and OP, you just got owned. time for a new job search. i heard prostitution makes a ton in singapore
dudeitsdanny 10
You might want to read your comment and properly structure it next time, before submitting it. You'll look like less of an ass. This was meant as a reply to #8. Damnit, FML.
dudeitsdanny 10
8- You might want to read your comment and properly structure it next time, before submitting it. You'll look like less of an ass. I give up. The site is being glitchy again.
harviss12 8
**** the haters!
Rawr_means_love3 0
19- How is that related?
J1hill33 12
I think #19 is talking to #8
iranoutofnames 6
???
RetardedBullFrog 4
But . . . where is comment #8?? all i see is comment number 9 . . .
J1hill33 12
the numbers got switched. now it's #9. look under #5
J1hill33 12
the numbers keep switching so when you look under 5 you might see 8 or 9
nerdchic 5
19 - that has nothing to do with this fml or any comments.... and op ydi.
j8steele 0
maybe you shouldn't criticize other peoples grammar or you'll look like a pretentious bitch who tries to sound smarter than you are.
Jammy01jams 2
Begins to Cry** Realizes he is a loser...
Jammy01jams 2
Begins to Cry** Realizes he is a loser...
tjv3 10
hahaha hahaha hahaha
NurseBitch 5
Why would anybody weld Marines together???
browntiga 0
exactly WTF are marine welders?
YayFlameWarz 9
29- I've seen your comments around here alot. They suck.
LordGoober 13
126/128- marine welders repair vehicles mainly, i.e. tanks, humvees, strykers etc
Suchagoonnn 4
my cousin is a rabbi
WellDurr 0
marine welders are underwater welders. what you do is, see, you go into the water and weld up such things as underwater pipelines and bridge structures n such. just a couple examples
LordGoober 13
could be underwater welder, or welding for the Marines lol, didnt think about that one most people would have said "underwater welder"
santosromero718 1
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
hahhaha!
stevenmark 1
what's a marine welder?
Mehness 0
Someone who welds for the Marines. themoreyouknow.jpg
DocBastard 40
No, it's someone who welds marines together. Didn't you see Human Centipede?
TinyDude 10
karma can be a bitch sometimes. only when u are one actually.
doing_it_ritee 5
hahaha!! I agree with #49 ! YDI op.
kyle1991 0
a marine welder welds on boats, doing repairs and such.
grass_hopperr 1
Haha sucks for you
goshpeople 4
Scroll down to comment 99 and see how much the OP does suck.
stevenJB 25
Janitors actually one of the most important jobs, if you think about it.
balest22 0
well then get a better job
goshpeople 4
Easier said than done. And if he was originally content with his own job, trying to get a better one JUST because his ex-girlfriend makes more money is kind of weird in my opinion.
mercuryburst 0
Money not importants, love importants.
Lachiew 11
I moderated an FML where a girl "lied to her Ex and said she was a marine welder when she WAS a janitor". Coincidence.
SteelCladAngel 0
LOL asshole you completely deserved that....now image how much worse your life would suck if your current gf left you for your ex gf :)
ruifg 0
haha I think that would be funnier then ****!!
kss_ga_champ5408 1
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
This may have been the worst comment ever. Yes it was. Hands down. From the grammatical errors and the unnecessary space between the first word and the next sentence; it is clear this is the work of a special needs 5th grader.
SteelCladAngel 0
well you're just a little grammarcunt aren't you kss? my comment is most definitely not the worst comment ever. if you think that perhaps you should leave the Internet. @t leest ai wuznt typeeng lyk dis or lyk di$ n stuf co$ di$ be hardur 2 reed dan wot ai poztid b4
awardZu 0
#8, you should relax. The internet has grown into a breeding ground for typing that would put an English teacher into a coma. Get used to it. If you have that much of a problem with people's grammar, get off the net. Also, I'd just like to point out that you threw a tantrum like a little bitch.
CryMoreFMLs 15
1...2... nazi's here 3...4...kick that ***** 5....6....get more kicks 7...8...put more bait. My own little grammar nazi song.
TheNewGuy03 29
i'm somewhat of a grammar nazi (one that perpetually types in lowercase), and i, too, believe that #8 should commit internet seppuku. |the kid|
Ballzdeepinya 0
You are a tool! Plain and simple.
jackrileymac 4
I'm with you that would be funny, don't worry about the haters. they just want to criticize you cause they don't have a life. they probably just get on this site all day.
fizzpoplady 3
Hey kss, next time you attempt to grammar-troll, don't use fragmented sentences with missing punctuation. You're a douche.
sinnerg 0
applaud!!
YFDIOP 0
#8 !$ @ D1cK
88joey5 4
what do you have against Nazis
NomiKat 9
Whoa worst comment ever? Overkill much?
Rinat_fml 26
#8, you are a dork.
dudeitsdanny 10
So, what's your amazing job that entitles you to belittle janitors? No wonder your girlfriend called you a loser: Your ex has nore balls than you. Grow a pair, and stop acting like a little boy.
Keyman1212 14
While I agree that belittling anyone for their profession is a douche move, underwater welders make insane bank, I had a friend from high school who joined the Seals, and when he got out used his underwater demolition training to score him a $250,000+ job. That's a bit above MOST professions.
dudeitsdanny 10
And that's his ex's job, not OP's.. Which makes that irrelevant to my comment ;P
Keyman1212 14
I'm saying that not many if any jobs would allow you to belittle someone who pulls a salary like that. It was a long winded analogy.
spacemanspiff78 7
damn youre a simple mf'er. question is, what gives op the right to belittle a janitor? moron.
wtfitsxash 3
agreed, plus janitors, garbage men, and other jobs as such, actually make pretty good pay, more than I do in retail.
BoCo_fml 9
#7, I agree with you. No one should ever belittle someone for their chosen profession. Plus, I could never do a janitor's job, and clean up after people.
RokNRoll11 9
OUCH ! plus I made the top 10 comments
SandraGee 7
You deserve it for being a ass.
SandraGee 7
*an
daisyloo 7
Agree! YDI. Next time, don't be an ass.
symplyme 1
Haha sucks to be you i bet that was embarrassing
RokNRoll11 9
Stop keeping me from making the top 10 comments