Today, I spent my first night with my English boyfriend. I'm French, and when we woke up, I said in my most sexy voice, "Oh, I'm so dirty!" It's only when he left that I finally understood the look on his face; I wanted to have a glass of water. I was thirsty, not dirty. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML
Today, I finally decided to sleep with my boyfriend. It was my first time and I was really nervous so when he was being all romantic with candles and wine I went a bit overboard and drank too much. I passed out. I woke up a few hours later, still a virgin, and in a puddle of my own piss. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my new boyfriend. I got tired so I thought it would be cute to fall asleep on him. He woke me up and said, "You got me wet." Thinking it was a joke, I said smoothly, "That's what she said!" He replied "No, really." I looked down, I'd drooled all over his shirt. FML
Today, I slept in my boyfriend's room for the first time. I also wet the bed for the first time in a decade. FML
Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML
Today, my boyfriend came to wake me up with some flowers and breakfast in bed. We started getting intimate, after a short while, there was a knock. We looked out of the window and there was the window cleaner with his thumbs up and grinning. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, I finally gave in to my long-distance boyfriend's requests and texted him dirty things. Any time I would send him something, he would reply, "What?" or "What do you mean?" Either I'm not doing this right, or I'm in a relationship with the most innocent person ever. FML
Today, I am a Frenchie who's been in England for two months. While wanting to say to my technician that my manager made me groan during our meeting, I said that he made me moan. Now he keeps looking at me with a grin on his face. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML
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Top comments
MightyMeganLH 0
Kinky ;)
Andy_King 0
she wanted to say "oh, i'm so thirsty" in a sexy voice so her boyfriend got her a glass of water. instead she said "oh, i'm so dirty"
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Comments (49)
Hi_Itz_Me 0
#28, you are a dumbass. please learn how to read.
yanna227 0
why was he so surprised? why did he leave?
Ashleyrheanna 2
Y'all are all wrong. She really did say that she was dirty. Because of her accent it sounded to him like she said thirsty not dirty so he went to get her water.
Legendslayer222 26
Whether she was thirsty OR dirty, the mistake is still pretty awkward.
suxs4ulol 22
she said i am so dirty but cause of her accent, it came out as thirsty
4realz226 0
Y is this an FML it's not that bad and kinda pointless?
t0rnadeau 4
You write in pretty good English....
Shaneisabeast 0
At number 42; she speaks with an accent, she was misunderstood
DWT 18
This FML makes absolutely no sense, lol.
notapotato 12
Same Thing...