Today, I spent my first night with my English boyfriend. I'm French, and when we woke up, I said in my most sexy voice, "Oh, I'm so dirty!" It's only when he left that I finally understood the look on his face; I wanted to have a glass of water. I was thirsty, not dirty. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML
Today, I finally decided to sleep with my boyfriend. It was my first time and I was really nervous so when he was being all romantic with candles and wine I went a bit overboard and drank too much. I passed out. I woke up a few hours later, still a virgin, and in a puddle of my own piss. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my new boyfriend. I got tired so I thought it would be cute to fall asleep on him. He woke me up and said, "You got me wet." Thinking it was a joke, I said smoothly, "That's what she said!" He replied "No, really." I looked down, I'd drooled all over his shirt. FML
Today, I slept in my boyfriend's room for the first time. I also wet the bed for the first time in a decade. FML
Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML
Today, my boyfriend came to wake me up with some flowers and breakfast in bed. We started getting intimate, after a short while, there was a knock. We looked out of the window and there was the window cleaner with his thumbs up and grinning. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, I finally gave in to my long-distance boyfriend's requests and texted him dirty things. Any time I would send him something, he would reply, "What?" or "What do you mean?" Either I'm not doing this right, or I'm in a relationship with the most innocent person ever. FML
Today, I am a Frenchie who's been in England for two months. While wanting to say to my technician that my manager made me groan during our meeting, I said that he made me moan. Now he keeps looking at me with a grin on his face. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML
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Top comments
MightyMeganLH 0
Kinky ;)
Andy_King 0
she wanted to say "oh, i'm so thirsty" in a sexy voice so her boyfriend got her a glass of water. instead she said "oh, i'm so dirty"
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Comments (49)
mmiikkee 0
That was a huge waste of my time. It made no sense. **** you French girl
krbittala 0
#8 she said it in a sexy voice so she would go get it for him. My ex used to do that. When a girl asks for something that try to sound sexy or sweet so we dont say no. Doesn't really have much of an effect on me though anymore. I learned to resist and forever be immune to that :P
krbittala 0
Also #12 you don't have to be such an incoherent asshole, you obviously couldnt understand the merit she was trying to give because your too stupid. Quit with the philistnism and try and be a bit more respectful next time.
lich_fml 0
ahaha aw, I'm sure he didn't mind. ;]
S1A917 0
i get it, but its pretty stupid
pulpfiction_fml 3
At least he's sweet enough to get it for you.
VegHead13 0
I think dirty would sound BETTER lol
xlostwithoutu 0
Haha that's funny but I'm sure he could understand since u are French
benny92 0
il faut que tu tentraines un peut plus alors? haha
lewis_943 5
C'est pas grave. Je suis sûr qu'il peut comprendre quand tu le dis "It was a mistake in my english." Il doit te pardonner.