Today, these kids in my math class told me to ask this girl if I could lick her clit. I basically yelled, "What's a clit?" Everyone looked at me. I'm a senior in high school, no one has yet to explain it to me. I had to Google it when I got home. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML
Today, I asked my college chemistry teacher for some much-needed help. Instead of explaining anything to me, she scoffed that if I don't understand something, I should "just Google it." FML
Today, in math, I was working on an assignment and this really cute girl comes over and says my name. At this point, my heart is pumping with excitement and I'm thinking she is going to ask for my number. She said, "Did you know someone drew a penis on your back?" FML
Today, my professor asked me a question in class. Thinking it was a rhetorical question, I shrugged and said, "Google it." It wasn't. He stared at me in silence for the longest 10 seconds of my life. FML
Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML
Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML
Today, in the heat of losing our virginity, I asked him to “suck my clit, suck my clit, oh god please suck my clit.” He stopped what he was doing and asked me, “What’s a clit?” I almost strangled him. Don’t date boys homeschooled by single mamas, they’ll break your heart. FML
Today, I was teaching a high school calculus class. I wrote a complex formula on the board. As I wrote, students asked if they could take a picture of the board and circulate it. I said yes, and I was pleased as everybody seemed to be taking pictures. Soon, I realized why: my skirt was tucked into my underwear. Within a few minutes, every student in the school had an email with a picture of my ugliest pair of floral-printed panties. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML
Today, as I was at work as a gynecologist, a twelve-year-old girl asked me, on a scale of 1-10, how tight her "fun stuff" was. This is the new generation. FML
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Top comments
skatingweasel 0
Dude...you need to get laid.
Hannah_fml 0
talk about sheltered
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Comments (191)
alex_vik 1
Nice wall of text #73 Anyways, wow OP, are you really THAT sheltered?
sparklygummyworm 0
that's depressing
dantesbane 0
wow, what a ******. I am so deeply upset by this FML that I don't even want to read anymore of these for the rest of the night.
formosababie 0
urbandictionary.com it will teach you everything you need to know. go nuts.
ohfrick 0
#73 I like you. :)
Trini_Psycho 0
to #73 threegp, man i mean if u have had sex, and providing you went down on a girl how could u miss that "little dude in the boat" lol i mean u had to have been curious as why that little nib is so sensitive and why they like it when u play with that!?? i mean dam lol... And point two, im not even gonna argue with u man but... U havnt lived life, if u die tomorrow ur going to miss out on that one experience, but hey... its ur life man.. to virgins my message is, i would rather go my whole life never having sex, than to have sex one time when im young and live old and never have it again.
Trini_Psycho 0
also... just saying, women want a man with experience, imean which chick wants a one minute man? and which girl wants that guy who asks all the time "Is this okay baby? am i doing this right babe? Hows that for you??"
Scars_fml 4
Read erotic novels
holynemesis1208 3
your parents and the american entertainment system have failed you.
truth_fml 0
To be fair, clit is short to ********, which is the correct term.